IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Education is very popular among teenagers and adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#education #teenagers #adults
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Education is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 popular
topics
Fix the agreement mistake
topic
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 for
essay
Fix the agreement mistake
essays
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because
this
 topic
not
Add a missing verb
is not
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 easy and not hard because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 topic was written by almost all students who want
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
show examples
 ielts. Education is everything related to
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
. Studies are very important things in our
life
 because it’s needed for everything
for example
 for
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
. There are many different types of work in the world
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
and all of them require
study
.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
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 if you want to become a judge or lawyer you have to learn laws and the constitution, if you want to become
doctor
Add an article
a doctor
the doctor
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 you have to learn biology and chemistry, if you want to become
architect
Add an article
an architect
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 you have to learn
geometric
Replace the word
geometry
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 and physic. And for everything you have
Learn
Wrong verb form
Learned
show examples
. It's not for nothing that they say you must
study
 for a good
life
 but almost all students don’t
liked
Change the verb form
like
show examples
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
, they think that they can do something without having knowledge, Previously, if you didn't
study
 at school, you couldn't get into institutions, but now in my country have opened many private institutions, and it is very easy to enter private institutes because for private institutions important only profit not
study
, because of
this
, most applicants stop their studies thinking that everything will be achieved easily, and many of them think that they can live their whole
life
 with their father's money and they are sorely mistaken
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it is impossible to live
life
 at someone else's expense. That's why you need to start learning from childhood. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 education is the best thing to achieve
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
 and make your dreams come true.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all main points are fully developed with detailed examples and explanations. Your essay touches on why education is important but lacks depth in discussing both views mentioned in the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Review sentence structures and focus on making ideas clearer. There were some unclear sentences that impacted the understanding of your main points.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about the importance of education which is a good basis for an essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction that sets up the topic for discussion, and a conclusion that gives your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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