The graphs below show the percentage of graduates that got full-time jobs after graduating from a university in Australia, from 2004 to 2012.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graphs below show the percentage of graduates that got full-time jobs after graduating from a university in Australia, from 2004 to 2012.

The given charts

compares

Change the verb form

compare

show examples

data

abou

Correct your spelling

about

the fraction of Australian people who graduated from 2 various academic subjects namely,

math

Use synonyms

and Other and had full-time

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

,and the amount of their incomes between 2004 and 2012.

Overall

Linking Words

, it was important that the

numebr

Correct your spelling

number

of Australia's

inahbitants

Correct your spelling

inhabitants

who had full-time occupations

reduced

Add a missing verb

was reduced

show examples

while

Linking Words

their salaries increased over the period of 8 years.

According to

Linking Words

the line diagram, at the start,

Math

Use synonyms

graduates

Use synonyms

, the main field background that their graduated found

teh

Correct your spelling

the

full-time jobs in 2004, scored just roughly 80% ;

then

Linking Words

its trend climbed marginally and hit the vertex at nearly 85% , which

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the same as Other

graduates

Use synonyms

, in 2008;

however

Linking Words

, it declined slightly to just over 75%. Other

graduates

Use synonyms

touched approximately 60% in 2004;

thereafter

Linking Words

, it rose moderately and reached the highest point at almost 90% in 2006 after that, it fell somewhat and in 2012 it reported just under its portion

Change preposition

apply

show examples

in 2004. The table demonstrates that both

math

Use synonyms

graduates

Use synonyms

and Other

graduates

Use synonyms

recorded the same number

Change preposition

apply

show examples

in 2004 and 2006 at 41,000 and 43,000. both of them improved, so Later

Math

Use synonyms

formed 56,000 in 2012;

additionally

Linking Words

, other ones composed 51,000 in 2012.

maryamkazemi968Tue Nov 19 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words math, graduates with synonyms.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

198 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

graduate employment rate
full-time employment
university graduates
job market
economic factors
industry demand
financial crisis
employment trends
technological advancements
graduate employability
career services
fields of study
job market requirements
industries
resilient
vulnerable

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The graphs below show the percentage of graduates that got full-time jobs after graduating from a university in Australia, from 2004 to 2012.

Online education is becoming increasingly popular nowadays. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this format?

In recent years, there has been an increasing trend of people from cities buying second homes in the countryside. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?