Some people think that children should be taught how to become good parents at school. Others believe that this is not necessary or should be taught at home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In
modern
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the modern
show examples
era, teaching the right things to children is very essential
especially
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, especially
show examples
adults
Change preposition
for adults
show examples
. Some people believe that
adult
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adults
show examples
must taught how to become good
guardian
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guardians
show examples
at the education institute where
as
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
other thinks that it can be taught by their caretakers.
This
essay will discuss both
side
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sides
show examples
and provide my opinion on the matter. On one hand, those who
advocates
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advocate
show examples
that parenting should be taught at the school
thinks
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think
show examples
that shaping young
mind
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minds
show examples
via
professional
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professionals
show examples
such
as school
teacher
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teachers
show examples
gives uniformity of human
value
among all the children. Having
such
structure
Correct article usage
a structure
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to
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apply
show examples
those youngster
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that youngster
those youngsters
show examples
whose
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
either abandon them or do not have sufficient time to spend with them. Nurturing them at
this
age can bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
essential
value
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values
show examples
such
as discipline, caring and justice to
week
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a week
show examples
to their lives.
As a result
,
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
national
Replace the word
nation
show examples
can unite on the core
value
of parenting.
On the other hand
, some people think that it
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
not important and can be taught by their guardian at home. Educating young ones at home can help adults
to inherited
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inherit
show examples
the core
value
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values
show examples
of family
that
is coming
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come
show examples
from generation to generation
by
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from
show examples
their ancestors.
Additionally
, educational
institute
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institutes
show examples
might
taught
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
parenting side that their family
is not agree
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does not agree
show examples
upon and might create
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
difference between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
generation
Change to a plural noun
generations
show examples
.
As a result
, families might
lost
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lose
be lost
show examples
their family values and become history to their children. In my opinion, uniformity in parenting is bad for the national culture and heritage as every family has their own essence
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Therefore
,
such
a responsible thing must be taught by the parent rather than relying on the educational institute. Schools are there
for teaching
Change preposition
to teach
show examples
the important skills for one's survival.
Hence
,
school
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schools
show examples
must not be
burden
Wrong verb form
burdened
show examples
with the teaching the parenting.
Submitted by vishaljangrala94 on

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task achievement
To improve task response, provide more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, include a real-life example or case study that illustrates your points about teaching parenting skills in schools or at home.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, try to use more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This will enhance the logical flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to set out the main argument and summarize the discussed points effectively.
task achievement
The task is addressed by covering both viewpoints as requested in the prompt. This ensures that the essay stays relevant and covers all required aspects of the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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