IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below give information about sales of fairtrade labeled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.

The table below give information about sales of fairtrade labeled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.
#information #sales #fairtrade #coffee #bananas #five #european #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The tables illustrate about
transaction
Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
show examples
 of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and
bananas
 between 1999 and 2004 in European countries: The
UK
,
Switzerland
,
Denmark
, Belgium, and
Sweeden
Correct your spelling
Sweden
show examples
.
To begin
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
 Fairtrade coffee selling in the
UK
 had the highest value in 2004
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20
million
euros
, and that saw a significant growth from the beginning at 1.5
million
euros
 in 1999.
Then
,
Switzerland
 was the second country
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 had big numbers of sales, which is the highest in 1999
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 3
million
euros
, and
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rising to 6
million
euros
 in 2004.
Furthermore
,
Denmark
 and Sweden experienced slight increases of 0.2
million
euros
 each
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1999 to 2004.
However
, Belgium had revenue by 1
million
euros
 in 1999, and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 larger to 1.7
million
euros
 in 2004.
On the other hand
,
Switzerland
 shows huge numbers and the highest market
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 selling
bananas
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 15
million
euros
 in 1999 to 47
million
euros
 in 2004. Followed by, the
UK
 was the second who
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 transaction of
bananas
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5.5
million
euros
 in 2004.
Nonetheless
, Belgium had a big
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 from 0.6
million
euros
 to 4
million
euros
 in 2004.
However
, Sweden and
Denmark
 show different changes which had declining
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 selling
bananas
. Sweden had 1.8
million
euros
 to 1
million
euros
.
Then
,
Denmark
 had 2
million
euros
 to 0.9
million
euros
 between 1999 and 2004. In summary, the sales of both products increased in most countries, with the
UK
 and
Switzerland
shows
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
 significant growth between 1999 and 2004.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words bananas, uk, switzerland, denmark, million, euros with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: