The table below give information about sales of fairtrade labeled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.

The tables illustrate about
transaction
Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
show examples
of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and
bananas
between 1999 and 2004 in European countries: The
UK
,
Switzerland
,
Denmark
, Belgium, and
Sweeden
Correct your spelling
Sweden
show examples
.
To begin
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
Fairtrade coffee selling in the
UK
had the highest value in 2004
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20
million
euros
, and that saw a significant growth from the beginning at 1.5
million
euros
in 1999.
Then
,
Switzerland
was the second country
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
had big numbers of sales, which is the highest in 1999
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
3
million
euros
, and
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rising to 6
million
euros
in 2004.
Furthermore
,
Denmark
and Sweden experienced slight increases of 0.2
million
euros
each
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
1999 to 2004.
However
, Belgium had revenue by 1
million
euros
in 1999, and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
larger to 1.7
million
euros
in 2004.
On the other hand
,
Switzerland
shows huge numbers and the highest market
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
selling
bananas
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
15
million
euros
in 1999 to 47
million
euros
in 2004. Followed by, the
UK
was the second who
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
transaction of
bananas
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5.5
million
euros
in 2004.
Nonetheless
, Belgium had a big
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
from 0.6
million
euros
to 4
million
euros
in 2004.
However
, Sweden and
Denmark
show different changes which had declining
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
selling
bananas
. Sweden had 1.8
million
euros
to 1
million
euros
.
Then
,
Denmark
had 2
million
euros
to 0.9
million
euros
between 1999 and 2004. In summary, the sales of both products increased in most countries, with the
UK
and
Switzerland
shows
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
significant growth between 1999 and 2004.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words bananas, uk, switzerland, denmark, million, euros with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!