Children today find it’s difficult to concentrate or pay attention in schools. Why do you think causes this problem? What do we need to do to solve this problem?
It is often thought that
students
are lacking of concentration and attention for
studies in School. In my Change preposition
to
opinon
, I think that there are various reasons for creating Correct your spelling
opinion
this
issue and will discuss how to mitigate the problems.
Firstly
, the students
are unable to concentrate in
their Change preposition
on
lessions
because of a few reasons. One reason Correct your spelling
lessons
that
is that Correct pronoun usage
apply
students
are addicted to social media
or computer games. They are so busy with engaging those
activities and do not have enough time for studies. Change preposition
in those
Further
, they do have concrete goals to achieve in future because they think that the
education is not important or they can get a job easily. As an Correct article usage
apply
example
young kids Add a comma
example,
has
plan to become Correct subject-verb agreement
have
a
social Correct article usage
apply
influencer
on social Fix the agreement mistake
influencers
media
by creating contents
on Fix the agreement mistake
content
youtube
or Correct your spelling
YouTube
facebook
and plan to earn money from it. Most Capitalize word
Facebook
of
Change preposition
apply
the
adolescent Correct article usage
apply
students
blindly believe this
concept so they feel that they do not want to engage effectively in Add an article
a class
the class
class room
or Correct your spelling
classroom
completing home
Wrong verb form
complete
works
.
To mitigate these issues, the parents have more Fix the agreement mistake
work
resposibilities
to advise their Correct your spelling
responsibilities
childrents
. They can show the reality Correct your spelling
children
children's
in
Change preposition
on
ground
regarding earning concerns from social Add an article
the ground
media
. The income from social media
is not enough for comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
life style
and parents should create an Correct your spelling
lifestyle
oppertunity
for kids to understand the bitter reality. Correct your spelling
opportunity
Further
, the teachers have another role to play in students
lives. They can educate Change noun form
students'
student's
students
to focus more on studies
rather than other distractions.
In conclusion, Correct pronoun usage
their studies
the
Correct article usage
apply
students
have more distractions in their study life and those distractions cause them to give enough attention and concentrations
but the parents and Fix the agreement mistake
concentration
teachechers
can help them to get Correct your spelling
teachers
right
direction.Add an article
the right
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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance your essay, consider organizing your thoughts into clearer paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, creating a more seamless flow of ideas. Each paragraph should focus on a distinct point related to the topic.
Task Achievement
While your essay mentioned key points such as social media distractions and lack of clear goals among students, enriching these arguments with more specific examples could strengthen your response. Be sure to delve deeper into each cause and potential solution discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are quite strong, providing a clear start and a summarizing end to your essay. Ensure that these sections clearly encapsulate the main points discussed without introducing new ideas in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows a strong introduction and conclusion, which frame your arguments well.
Task Achievement
You recognize multiple reasons for the issue and discuss plausible solutions, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.