IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Governments should spend less money on restoring old buildings and more money for new housing and roads development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Spending less
money
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 on restoring old
buildings
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 and more
money
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 on new roads and housing developments nowadays can create different perspectives. In my opinion, I prefer to restore old
buildings
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 and new road development than build new housing and I would like to discuss more from my own perspective. The occasions why I agree to allocate more
money
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 to reconstruction of old
buildings
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.
Firstly
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, it is because of keeping the historical value, as a sample, there are plenty of ancient
buildings
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such
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 as castles that can be used as a government office or monuments.
Secondly
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, the expenditure
that is
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 used for remodelling will be less cost. But in the meantime, I agree to spend more
money
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 on road development because it is very crucial for many sectors
such
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 as governments, private companies and citizens because it is obviously related to public uses.
Hence
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, building new housing in my opinion should be reduced because it is not effective, especially if one area already has another building with the same function.
Besides
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, Governments should be pondering to decide which spot that eligible to do new construction.
However
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, it is possible if Governments lack of function hall.
Overall
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, remodelling old
buildings
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 is more efficient and effective because of less cost and will be able to keep the historical values. Building new roads will help many sectors to do their main activities.
However
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, building new housing is the opposite and should be done if it is urgent.
It is clear that
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 either new constructions or reconstruction should be decided with legitimate and eligible consideration.

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task achievement
Clearly state your position on the issue in the introduction to provide a clear framework for your argument.
task achievement
Develop your main points further with specific examples and explanations to clearly convey your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly and transitions between ideas are clear.
coherence cohesion
Provide clear topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance reader understanding of your main points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, framing the argument effectively.
task achievement
The response addresses both aspects of the question, considering both restoration and new development.
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