Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, the incidence of lifestyle-related
diseases
has been steadily increasing.
This
has led to a debate about whether it is the government’s responsibility to reduce and prevent these
diseases
or whether
individuals
should take charge of their own health. From my perspective, tackling
this
issue requires cooperation between
governments
and citizens, as both have vital roles to play. On the one hand, maintaining a healthy lifestyle ultimately depends on
individuals
’ choices and determination. Without personal commitment, efforts from external parties will have little impact.
For instance
, achieving physical fitness and avoiding chronic illnesses require daily decisions,
such
as choosing nutritious meals over junk food or prioritizing exercise over sedentary activities. Without
this
awareness,
individuals
risk developing conditions like obesity, diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease.
Therefore
, personal responsibility is crucial in preventing lifestyle-related illnesses.
On the other hand
,
governments
can play an essential role in promoting public health by raising awareness and implementing preventative measures. One effective approach is to encourage healthy habits from an early age, particularly in schools, as instilling
this
knowledge in children is easier than changing
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
in adults.
Additionally
,
governments
can provide accessible healthcare services,
such
as annual check-ups tailored to different age groups. Early detection of
diseases
through
such
programs can significantly reduce healthcare costs by preventing complications, which are far more expensive to treat. In conclusion, addressing the rise of lifestyle-related
diseases
requires a collaborative effort between
individuals
and
governments
.
While
individuals
must take responsibility for their daily health choices,
governments
can complement these efforts by implementing policies that raise awareness and provide preventative healthcare services. Together, these actions can lead to healthier societies and reduce the burden of lifestyle
diseases
.
Submitted by chawanat.pla on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You have discussed both sides of the argument effectively, providing a balanced view. Adding more specific examples to support each side could enhance your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure and each point is developed clearly. Ensure that paragraph transitions are smooth to maintain the flow.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, effectively addressing both sides and including a personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure and clear development of ideas contribute to the essay's coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and contribute to a clear and cohesive argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public health
  • Government responsibility
  • Individual responsibility
  • Vaccination programs
  • Anti-smoking campaigns
  • Subsidized medical services
  • Healthcare accessibility
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Food safety regulations
  • Pollution control
  • Occupational safety
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Self-education
  • Proactive management
  • Personalized healthcare
  • Comprehensive health system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: