Because of the rising cost of housing, many young people are increasingly being forced to live with their parents into their 30’s. Does the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

It has been pointed out that there is a rise in the number of young adults continuing to live with their fathers and mothers
due to
Linking Words
the increase in housing costs. In my opinion,
this
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trend is causing a tremendous drawback to our society, which surpasses the limited benefits in terms of personal emotional health. First of all, young people still sharing a house with their family members has a significant drawback to the community. The reason is that when those who are in their thirties are unable to afford the soaring housing prices and are forced to live in a cramped apartment with their families, they may feel frustrated and hopeless about their future. Over time,
this
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frustration can turn into anger and conflicts within the household, damaging family relationships. If
this
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feeling of powerlessness becomes widespread, it can lead to disharmony in our society.
For instance
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, a massive number of youngsters who are still living with their parents in Shanghai say that despite working hard, they are unable to purchase their own apartments in Shanghai
due to
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the unaffordable housing prices, which leads to resentment and tension within households and even the wider community.
In contrast
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, staying with old generations promotes strong emotional bonds.
This
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is because living with their family members allows young adults to have more time to communicate with their loved ones, which enhances the quality of their interpersonal relationships and contributes to building a strong sense of belonging and connections,
thus
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bringing benefits to emotional health. As an illustration, several young workers in top-level companies mention that when they feel exhausted and stressed
due to
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their heavy workload, they always vent their negative emotions to their parents, which helps them maintain good emotional health. In conclusion,
although
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people may vary in their opinions about whether the downsides of sharing one house with parents outweigh the positive impacts, I am of the opinion that
this
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circumstance causes repercussions to our society, which exceed the minor emotional support.

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structure
Plan your text with a clear start, body, and end. State your view in one line at the start.
content
Give more proof or facts to back your claims. Use real or strong examples.
grammar
Use simple, correct grammar. Check plural and verb form, and use basic words well.
cohesion
Link ideas with clear bridges. Use words like first, also, but, then, however.
conclusion
In the end, restate your main view clearly.
content
The writer shows a clear view against the trend.
coherence
There are signposts that mark the parts (First of all, In contrast, In conclusion).
structure
There is a brief example to back up a point (Shanghai).

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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