Some young people like to copy the behavior and clothes of famous people. Why might this be the case? What problems might it cause?

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Celebrities have more powerful influence over

people

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, particularly young

people

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, as media technology advances. The youth frequently look up to these folks and want to emulate their style.

This

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essay will consider the reasons for

this

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and the problems it may cause. There are several reasons why young

people

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aspire to be like the popular stars of their day.

First,

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this

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occurs when youngsters get older and more conscious of their identities. Some

people

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have a natural sense of style, but most young

people

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must acquire it over time. Until

then

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, the need to fit in was so great that it was unsurprising that they attempted to compete with the stars that both they and their peers desired. It’s

also

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likely that teenagers wish to be different from their parents.

However

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, there are several problems with

this

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phenomenon.

Firstly

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, trying to replicate the possessions and lifestyle of well-known individuals

tend

Correct subject-verb agreement

tends

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to cause overspending and financial difficulties, especially

low-income

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for low-income

show examples

families.

This

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is because the fashion and lifestyle of celebrities are very luxurious, leading to spending a lot of money so that young

people

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can follow the lifestyle and style of famous

people

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Additionally

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, some celebrities engage in negative

behaviors

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behaviours

show examples

such

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as smoking, dressing offensively, and dieting too harshly. Those bad

behaviors

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behaviours

show examples

will have a negative impact on shaping the

behavior

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behaviour

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of young

people

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, who may not have enough understanding to identify and distinguish whether those

behaviors

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behaviours

show examples

should be learned or not.

Therefore

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, copying the stars may lead to many negative problems in young

people

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’s lives. To summarize, young

people

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’s desire to be like their idols is a natural element of growth and may help them form their own identity.

However

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, teens should copy selectively and with the direction of their parents.

brightstargalaxyMon May 13 2024

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Language Use

To further improve, consider varying your sentence structures more and using synonyms to avoid repetition. This can add to the sophistication of your writing and better engage your reader.

Coherence & Cohesion

Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas and arguments, further boosting your coherence and cohesion score.

Task Response

Adding more detailed and varied examples to support your arguments can enhance the depth of your essay and better illustrate your points.

Task Achievement

You've managed to provide a clear introduction, fully address the task, and offer a well-rounded conclusion, which are key components of a successful essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a logical flow of ideas, thanks to the effective organization and clear paragraphing.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Some young people like to copy the behavior and clothes of famous people. Why might this be the case? What problems might it cause?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

In some countries, the number of shootings increase becausee many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that film is a less important art than other forms such as literature and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Playing too many video games can lead to decreased physical activity and social interaction, which can have negative effects on overall health. Do you agree or disagree?

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagre?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very Important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?