In many countries, fast food is becoming increasingly popular, and this is causing negative effects on people's health. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent years, fast food has become more widespread among part of society.
However
, convenience and affordability offer certain advantages, but the adverse effect on people's health has sparked considerable concern. In this
essay, I will examine both advantages and disadvantages of fast food, before concluding that the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks.
In conclusion, while
Fast Foot offers undeniable convenience and affordability, these advantages are overshadowed by the significant health risks. Therefore
, the government should implement some policies to mitigate the negative effects of fast food.Submitted by jingelbing on
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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, further develop the body paragraphs by adding more detailed explanations and examples supporting your main points regarding the advantages and disadvantages of fast food.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, try to expand on your arguments more fully in the body of the essay. Elaborate on the consequences of fast food consumption and connect them back to your conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, aligned with the task prompt.
Task Achievement
The topic is introduced with a clear position, showing an understanding of the issue.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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