IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

More and more people nowadays visit well-known places to take photographs of themselves, without looking at the place. Why do you think this is happening?

#people #visit #places #photographs #place
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In recent years, visiting well-known
places
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 to take
photographs
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 of themselves has become widespread among
people
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.
However
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, interest in sharing
photographs
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 on social media and capturing
memories
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 is certainly positive, but the adverse effect of the absence of
attention
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 to well-known
places
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 has sparked considerable concern. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both the positive and negative effects of
this
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 trend, before concluding that the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks.
to begin
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 with, one of the primary positive effects of
this
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 trend is taking
photographs
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 at well-known
places
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 is essential for activities on social media.
For example
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, many
people
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 have an account on social media
such
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 as Facebook and Instagram and through posting and sharing their photos they build effective links with other
people
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.
Moreover
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, capturing
memories
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 is very important for most
people
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. The crux of the matter lies in the fact that most
people
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 have a great need to remember their good
memories
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. The other positive of taking
photographs
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 at a well-known place hinges on the perception that watching photos is the best way to remember good
memories
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. Researches in Finland show us many
people
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 overcome stress
through
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by
show examples
 remembering good
memories
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.
However
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, the negative impact of taking
photographs
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 at well-known
places
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 is substantial and cannot be overlooked. Research in Denmark shows us that being at the moment plays a vital role in mental health. Extensive photography at well-known
places
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 creates obstacles in being in the moment and acts as a catalyst for the lack of
attention
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 to the beauty of well-known
places
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. In conclusion,
while
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 taking
photographs
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 at well-known
places
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 offers undeniable positive effects, the benefits are overshadowed by the significant negative effect of the absence of
attention
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 to the beauty of
places
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.
Therefore
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 the government should implement some policies to aware
people
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 about
attention
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 to the beauty of well-known
places
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.
Submitted by moon2014angel on

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task achievement
Try to delve deeper into the specific reasons behind why people focus more on photographing themselves rather than appreciating the places.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clear separation of ideas and strengthen transitions between contrasting points (positive vs. negative effects).
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets up the discussion by outlining both positive and negative aspects of the trend.
complete response
You have shown the ability to analyze both positive and negative elements, providing a balanced viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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