IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

More and more people nowadays visit well-known places to take photographs of themselves, without looking at the place. Why do you think this is happening?

#people #visit #places #photographs #place
In recent years, visiting well-known
places
 to take
photographs
 of themselves has become widespread among
people
.
However
, interest in sharing
photographs
 on social media and capturing
memories
 is certainly positive, but the adverse effect of the absence of
attention
 to well-known
places
 has sparked considerable concern. In
this
 essay, I will examine both the positive and negative effects of
this
 trend, before concluding that the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks.
to begin
 with, one of the primary positive effects of
this
 trend is taking
photographs
 at well-known
places
 is essential for activities on social media.
For example
, many
people
 have an account on social media
such
 as Facebook and Instagram and through posting and sharing their photos they build effective links with other
people
.
Moreover
, capturing
memories
 is very important for most
people
. The crux of the matter lies in the fact that most
people
 have a great need to remember their good
memories
. The other positive of taking
photographs
 at a well-known place hinges on the perception that watching photos is the best way to remember good
memories
. Researches in Finland show us many
people
 overcome stress
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 remembering good
memories
.
However
, the negative impact of taking
photographs
 at well-known
places
 is substantial and cannot be overlooked. Research in Denmark shows us that being at the moment plays a vital role in mental health. Extensive photography at well-known
places
 creates obstacles in being in the moment and acts as a catalyst for the lack of
attention
 to the beauty of well-known
places
. In conclusion,
while
 taking
photographs
 at well-known
places
 offers undeniable positive effects, the benefits are overshadowed by the significant negative effect of the absence of
attention
 to the beauty of
places
.
Therefore
 the government should implement some policies to aware
people
 about
attention
 to the beauty of well-known
places
.
Submitted by moon2014angel on

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task achievement
Try to delve deeper into the specific reasons behind why people focus more on photographing themselves rather than appreciating the places.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clear separation of ideas and strengthen transitions between contrasting points (positive vs. negative effects).
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets up the discussion by outlining both positive and negative aspects of the trend.
complete response
You have shown the ability to analyze both positive and negative elements, providing a balanced viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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