Some people say that advertising encourages people to buy things they do not need. Others say that advertisements are important sources of information about new products. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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It is true that
people
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have
distinc
Correct your spelling
distinct
views when it comes to advertisements. They sometimes can help us make better decisions or they make us buy things we don'
t
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even want to. Some
people
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would argue that advertising is useful when we need to buy some products.
For example
Linking Words
, if someone wants to buy a laptop and
saw
Wrong verb form
sees
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a
promoting
Replace the word
promotional
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video, it would be great because now that person knows that he can add it to his potential purchase list. If he likes the product, he might just get it straight away. From their point of view, it can save
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
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time and energy. Usually, in
this
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world, everything is well-made.
Therefore
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, it is really hard to see the differences between one and another.
Also
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, they would say companies cannot lie about their products
due to
Linking Words
the law, so we can trust their marketing.
On the other hand
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, other
people
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would claim that it is not worth
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
watching advertisements. They don'
t
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give us
necessary
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the necessary
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information,
instead
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, they encourage us to purchase more things.
Such
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information is often exaggerated and we can be easily convinced by it. They would advise that
people
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should think more before they buy anything.
For instance
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, when I see a very good-looking celebrity wearing
a
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apply
show examples
lipstick on TV, I immediately feel like I want to get it, even though I already have more than 10
of
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apply
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different colours. I feel like
people
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don'
t
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care about their own taste.
In other words
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, they don'
t
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know what to buy for themselves, they just get it because everyone has it or it went viral.
Therefore
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, I believe
advertisemnets
Correct your spelling
advertisements
advertisement
in general
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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more drawbacks than benefits. In conclusion, even though some
people
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think getting information from advertisements is good, I disagree with the idea. I think watching them has more disadvantages than advantages.
Submitted by dob.jeong on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your ideas. While you present both sides of the argument, the transition between points can be made smoother. Consider using linking words or phrases to better guide the reader through your essay.
task achievement
Aim to fully explore both viewpoints before presenting your own opinion in the conclusion. You touch on both sides, but a more in-depth exploration could strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion.
task achievement
You provide a specific example about celebrity influence to illustrate your point. This helps in making your argument relatable and concrete.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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