Some people say that advertising encourages people to buy things they do not need. Others say that advertisements are important sources of information about new products. Discuss both views and give your opinion
It is true that
people
have distinc
views when it comes to advertisements. They sometimes can help us make better decisions or they make us buy things we don'Correct your spelling
distinct
t
even want to.
Some people
would argue that advertising is useful when we need to buy some products. For example
, if someone wants to buy a laptop and saw
a Wrong verb form
sees
promoting
video, it would be great because now that person knows that he can add it to his potential purchase list. If he likes the product, he might just get it straight away. From their point of view, it can save Replace the word
promotional
your
time and energy. Usually, in Correct pronoun usage
you
this
world, everything is well-made. Therefore
, it is really hard to see the differences between one and another. Also
, they would say companies cannot lie about their products due to
the law, so we can trust their marketing.
On the other hand
, other people
would claim that it is not worth it
watching advertisements. They don'Correct pronoun usage
apply
t
give us necessary
information, Add an article
the necessary
instead
, they encourage us to purchase more things. Such
information is often exaggerated and we can be easily convinced by it. They would advise that people
should think more before they buy anything. For instance
, when I see a very good-looking celebrity wearing a
lipstick on TV, I immediately feel like I want to get it, even though I already have more than 10 Remove the article
apply
of
different colours. I feel like Change preposition
apply
people
don't
care about their own taste. In other words
, they don't
know what to buy for themselves, they just get it because everyone has it or it went viral. Therefore
, I believe advertisemnets
in general Correct your spelling
advertisements
advertisement
has
more drawbacks than benefits.
In conclusion, even though some Correct subject-verb agreement
have
people
think getting information from advertisements is good, I disagree with the idea. I think watching them has more disadvantages than advantages.Submitted by dob.jeong on
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your ideas. While you present both sides of the argument, the transition between points can be made smoother. Consider using linking words or phrases to better guide the reader through your essay.
task achievement
Aim to fully explore both viewpoints before presenting your own opinion in the conclusion. You touch on both sides, but a more in-depth exploration could strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion.
task achievement
You provide a specific example about celebrity influence to illustrate your point. This helps in making your argument relatable and concrete.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?