Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
Some citizen believes
,
the best way is Remove the comma
apply
rivalry
at school, at work and in the daily routine, but others said
that we should accompany Wrong verb form
say
with
each other, Change preposition
apply
instead
of looking at each other like a
enemy.Change the article
an
i
agree with the second idea.
They believeChange the capitalization
I
,
Remove the comma
apply
every one
should respect and accompany together for any task from all walks of life. Replace the word
everyone
This
act cause
Replace the word
causes
increasing
level of real satisfaction Add an article
the increasing
an increasing
of
people. They saidChange preposition
in
,
Remove the comma
apply
rivalry
might be overcome on right
function. And straightly impact on the result of their task. Correct article usage
the right
For instance
, a person who efforts to getting
a promotion. Ultimately he gets it through Wrong verb form
get
rivalry
. This
condition cause
other colleagues Change the verb form
causes
don’t
have enough motivation Verb problem
to not
for
carry on their work.they Change preposition
to
make feeling
Wrong verb form
feel
disappointment
.
In my opinion, humans live to achieve Replace the word
disappointed
a
good communication. One big reason why people will never find satisfaction is because they are focused on others. All of us can do parts of our duties in Remove the article
apply
team work
. Definitely, It affects our results and creates a strong relationship between us.
On Correct your spelling
teamwork
other
hand, some citizens said that Correct article usage
the other
rivalry
can be great
reason for achievement. They always look at their rival and effort to get better than them. Add an article
a great
For example
, a,
student who always gets Remove the comma
apply
grade
B. He has a classmate who always gets Correct article usage
a grade
grade
A. If he competed with him, he certainly will Correct article usage
a grade
receive to
his goal.
Verb problem
reach
Overall
, I think, the most important thing in our life is personal satisfaction. I certainly believe that it comes from communications and participations
. But some citizens are more comfortable in Fix the agreement mistake
participation
rivalry
.they achieve their admire
sooner than Replace the word
admiration
other
ways.Change preposition
in other
Submitted by mozhdeh_yousefi on
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task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen the argument. For instance, further elaboration on how cooperation enhances satisfaction at the workplace or in academic settings could reinforce the points being made.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs. Transitions and connectors between ideas can help guide the reader through your arguments more seamlessly.
task achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives on the topic, showing an understanding of different viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states a position, which is consistently supported throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.