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Writing Samples
Band 7

After graduation, many students take a year to travel. Some think that it would be more useful to work for a year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#graduation #students #year #travel #think #work
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After high school, students have to decide what to do. Some choose to have a vacation
year
,
while
 others believe that spending a
year
 working is a better choice. I believe that there is
not a
Rephrase
no
show examples
 best choice, but
overall
 the travel experience could create a more well-rounded person. It is widely thought that spending one
year
 working after graduation is the best decision that some could take to enrich themselves. Indeed, going to work right after high school is not uncommon for many students. It is usually done with the purpose of creating a working background to enrich their CV.
For example
, young people who have the intention of studying medicine at university may choose to work as a volunteer at the hospital in order to gain practice in the field.
On the other hand
, some young people might want to relax, and taking a
year
 to travel is the best option they can choose. A gap
year
 might allow people to get in touch with many different communities and cultures. As far as I'm concerned visiting other countries and experiencing their habit is one of the best ways to find new interests and gain life experience.
For instance
,
while
 experiencing different cuisines during the journey a person might find the passion for cooking and decide to become a chef. In conclusion, I do not think there is a right choice that students should make after graduation. They ought to do what they think is best for themselves and spend a
year
 to enrich themselves in the most aspects possible, and travelling all over the world is the best way to do that.
Submitted by alessandrorepola.repola on

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coherence cohesion
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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