IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#uk #time #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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ìThe table shows how British
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 who were not working spent their time in the morning and
afternoon
Use synonyms
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
 we can see that there is
Correct article usage
a lots
show examples
lots
Correct quantifier usage
lot
show examples
 of difference in how
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 spend their time but with
greater
Correct article usage
a greater
show examples
 percentage
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 doing more production tasks in the morning. Activities
such
Linking Words
 as housework, shopping and looking for employment were about two times more popular in the morning than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
afternoon
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
both
Use synonyms
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 prefer leisure
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as reading, watching TV, visiting friends or simply sitting around. It is
also
Linking Words
 interesting to note that
women
Use synonyms
 were more likely to do housework and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
shopping than
men
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
 the morning and the
afternoon
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 were seven times more likely to spend time being active with activities
such
Linking Words
 as decorating and gardening,
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 and go walking. Numbers were fairly similar for the other activities with 8% of
both
Use synonyms
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
staying in bed and 5% and 7% respectively visiting town in the morning.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of people drinking was fairly small in
both
Use synonyms
 the morning and
afternoon
Use synonyms
 with slightly more
men
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by alessandrorepola.repola on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, afternoon, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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