Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some argue that youth should select the occupations that they want. Others maintain that they should choose
the
Correct article usage
apply
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jobs
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that are more practical and think more about their
future
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. personally, I support
latter
Add an article
the latter
a latter
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idea, because it is wiser to select an occupation
that is
Linking Words
most likely to provide for the
future
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, On the one hand, There are some reasons why young
people
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should choose their
jobs
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freely based on
individualsʼs
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individual
interest
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interests
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and
passion
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passions
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. If
people
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were given
freedom
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the freedom
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to choose the professions they are
passionated
Correct your spelling
passionate
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about, they would feel more motivated and put extra effort
in
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into
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their work.
Therefore
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, they are more likely to succeed than others.
For example
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, the research shows that
people
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who choose a job they love have a 20% higher chance of success compared to
people
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who
did
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do
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not.
Hence
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, young adults should select the occupations they want.
On the other hand
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, I am more in
favor
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favour
show examples
of the argument that young
people
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choose their
jobs
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very carefully, and consider the
future
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demand for the
jobs
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. Choosing a job realistically would highly increase
oneʼs
Correct your spelling
one's
career growth and
future
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Use synonyms
jobs
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job
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opportunities.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
some articles, About 40% of global
jobs
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could be affected to Al automation. The
jobs
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you are
passionated
Correct your spelling
passionate
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about may be eliminated by AI in the
future
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.
Moreover
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, industries like arts and
entertainments
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entertainment
show examples
may not provide the same level of
Use synonyms
jobs
Change the noun form
job
show examples
security and
incomes
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income
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compared to other fields
such
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as technology or healthcare. There, young
people
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should consider not only their passions but
also
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the practical aspects of their career choice,
such
Linking Words
as demand for
jobs
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, salary and
future
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employment for a stable life. In conclusion,
Although
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I partly accept the former idea, I believe that youth should be realistic
,
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apply
show examples
when they choose
jobs
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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task achievement
To improve the Task Achievement score, ensure that examples are specifically tied to the points being made and are detailed enough to be convincing. Currently, some examples, like the statistics, could be expanded or explained in more depth to fully support your argument.
coherence cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, work on smoothing transitions between paragraphs and ideas, making the overall essay flow more seamlessly. Consider using more varied transition phrases and summarizing intermediate points to build stronger connections.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views on the topic, which clearly demonstrates an understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear, with an introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion, aiding readability and logical flow.
task achievement
Your personal opinion is clearly stated and well-integrated into the essay, fulfilling the requirements of the prompt accurately.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • skill development
  • market demands
  • financial stability
  • career growth
  • job security
  • income level
  • fulfilling professional life
  • personal happiness
  • career counseling
  • job market trends
  • adaptability
  • work-life balance
  • health implications
  • job automation
  • redundancy
  • emerging technologies
  • stable employment
  • motivated
  • competent
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