IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

nowadays many students take gap year do you think advantages of this outweigh disadvantages

#students #gap #year #outweigh
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At present, a huge number of school graduates take a
year
Use synonyms
 off before enrolling on universities in order to gain work experience and travel around the world. Some claim that
this
Linking Words
 has a negative impact on the youngsters' academic life and health
while
Linking Words
 I firmly assert that the benefits of taking a gap
year
Use synonyms
 overshadow the drawbacks.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elucidate both the merits and downsides of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. There is a myriad of advantages to a gap
year
Use synonyms
. Primarily,
this
Linking Words
 allows the youth to acquire work experience thanks to which they are able to develop soft skills like time management and responsibility.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent study conducted by hh.kz -a recruiting agency has found that the youth who take a gap
year
Use synonyms
 are more likely to find better job opportunities compared to their counterparts.
This
Linking Words
 demonstrates that taking a
year
Use synonyms
 off plays a crucial role in youngsters' future careers.
Submitted by pandatvin3 on

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on the conclusion to summarize the main points discussed. A concise conclusion helps reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that sentences flow logically within the paragraph. This will enhance overall coherence.
task achievement
The introduction clearly presents the topic and the writer’s position, making it straightforward for the reader to understand the essay's focus.
task achievement
The essay provides a specific example related to work experience and its benefits after taking a gap year, supporting the argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with an introduction, body, and a lead-up to the conclusion, which supports a logical progression of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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