Shopping is now one of the most famous forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What is the reason? Is it positive or negative?

In various countries, recent people's favourite activity is shopping. Shopping is very easy nowadays.
Due to
digitalization,
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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are able to do shopping
by
Change preposition
apply
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online,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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is why shopping is the one of most famous
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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to do during people's free time. Shopping would
leads
Change the verb form
lead
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into
Change preposition
to
show examples
transaction
Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
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. A lot of shopping means a lot of
transaction
Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
show examples
, it's good because it proves that the country's
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
circulation has worked.
Submitted by arjoensyahananta168 on

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task achievement
Ensure to clearly state your opinion or position on whether the popularity of shopping as a leisure activity is positive or negative. Currently, the essay discusses shopping without a clear stance.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples. This will help demonstrate the complexity and depth of your understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea. This will help improve your essay's logical structure and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Be sure to include both an introduction and a conclusion. The introduction should clearly introduce the topic and your position, while the conclusion should summarize your key points and restate your stance.
task achievement
You have identified the modern convenience of online shopping as a reason for its popularity, which is a valid and contemporary point.
task achievement
Your essay touches on the economic impact of shopping, which is an important aspect of the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumer culture
  • Marketing strategies
  • E-commerce
  • Proliferation
  • Socializing
  • Self-expression
  • Identity formation
  • Materialism
  • Instant gratification
  • Trendy
  • Leisure activity
  • Frequent purchases
  • Accessible
  • Convenient
What to do next:
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