IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the government should provide free education at every level. However, some says that individuals should pay their university education. Discuss both view and give your opinions.

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Many people
pass
Verb problem
spend
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 the main part of their life at work,
job
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 contentment is
crucial
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the crucial
a crucial
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 role of person's
wellfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore about
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
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 of people. On the one hand, a positive work environment plays
significant
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a significant
show examples
 role in
job
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satisfaction
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. It includes physical aspects
such
Linking Words
 as office layout, cleanliness and security,
as well as
Linking Words
 teamwork, communication and support from colleagues and supervisors. Clarity of
job
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 roles and manageable responsibilities significantly influence employee
satisfaction
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. If workers understand what is expected of them
and
Correct word choice
apply
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they feel fulfilled when given tasks that match their skills. Fair compensation is often a key factor in
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
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.
This
Linking Words
 includes not only wages, but
also
Linking Words
 benefits
such
Linking Words
 as health insurance, retirement plans, paid vacations, and bonuses.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the importance of
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
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 is widely recognized, all employees expect to achieve higher levels of it. Each person has unique preferences, values, motivations, and life circumstances that affect their
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
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 in different ways. Some jobs may have challenges that make it difficult to achieve high levels of self-
satisfaction
Use synonyms
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 example,
Change preposition
in
show examples
high-stress environments or
seriously
Change the word
serious
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 tasks. Not all organizations prioritize employee well-being or invest equally in creating satisfying workplaces. Systemic problems within companies can limit the opportunities for all employees to experience high levels of
satisfaction
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. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 many factors contribute positively to
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
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, achieving universal expectations in diverse workplaces remains complicated by individual differences and external economic factors. Recognizing that
job
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satisfaction
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 cannot be achieved for everyone, organizations can strive to create an environment conducive to employee happiness.

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task response
Your essay addresses the question, but ensure you directly discuss both views from the prompt and make your own personal stance more explicit.
task response
Some examples provided are a bit broad, such as 'high-stress environments.' Try to give more specific examples related to the views on education costs.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a nice logical flow from introduction to conclusion, but ensure the focus remains split fairly between the views of free education and self-funded university education.
coherence cohesion
Try to use linking words more frequently to enhance cohesion between your paragraphs and arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have a structured essay with a clear introduction and conclusion, which wraps up your ideas nicely.
task achievement
The essay shows consideration of different perspectives, which adds depth to your response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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