The graph below shows the participation of Australian children in sports outside school hours in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the participation of Australian children in sports outside school hours in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph provides information about the
participation
Use synonyms
of Australian
children
Use synonyms
in sports outside school hours in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most popularity of various
sport
Use synonyms
among Australian
children
Use synonyms
in 2014 was swimming, because the participants of swimming tended to be of various genders in large quantities.
However
Linking Words
, the
participation
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
another various sports
Replace the adjective
another various sport
other various sports
show examples
like
football
Use synonyms
or
netball
Use synonyms
tended to be significantly unbalanced, but for basketball, the participants were almost in the same number between
boys
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and
girls
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. The number of
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participation
Replace the word
participants
show examples
of
australian
Change the capitalization
Australian
show examples
children
Use synonyms
who
interested
Add a missing verb
were interested
show examples
in swimming was about over 10 to 17. It remained
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
participant
Use synonyms
of
boys
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and
girls
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.
However
Linking Words
, the participants
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
football
Use synonyms
and
netball
Use synonyms
were very significantly different.
Football
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had the highest
participation
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rate among
boys
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, significantly more than any other
sport
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. It was 20
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participant
Fix the agreement mistake
participants
show examples
of
boys
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and about
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5
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participant
Change to a plural noun
participants
show examples
of
girls
Use synonyms
. The opposite of
netball
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
had nearly
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20
Use synonyms
participant
Change to a plural noun
participants
show examples
of
girls
Use synonyms
and about 2
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participant
Change to a plural noun
participants
show examples
of
boys
Use synonyms
.
Netball
Use synonyms
was shown as a predominantly
girls
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sport
Use synonyms
with high
participation
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rates among
girls
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, basketball had about 5 to 10 each
participant
Use synonyms
was either
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a boys
show examples
boys
Fix the agreement mistake
boy
show examples
or
Use synonyms
girls
Fix the agreement mistake
girl
show examples
, with
boys
Use synonyms
having a higher interest compared to
girls
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, but the gap isn’t as wide as that in
football
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or
netball
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. But
unfortunately
Add a comma
unfortunately,
show examples
there were still about 5
children
Use synonyms
had
Correct pronoun usage
who had
show examples
no
interested
Replace the word
interest
show examples
in sports. In conclusion, swimming was the most popular across both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
, though slightly more
girls
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seem to participate than
boys
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.
Football
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was the popular
sport
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of
boys
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, and
netball
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was the popular
sport
Use synonyms
of
girls
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by imeldarosari6 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words participation, children, sport, football, netball, boys, girls, participant with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Participation rate
  • Gender-specific sports
  • Popular
  • Predominantly
  • Comparison
  • Significant
  • Visible difference
  • Participation gap
  • Non-gender specific sports
  • Out-of-school activities
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