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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities #information #features #comparisons
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The given bar chart provides information regarding the number of individuals who spend their money on buying tea or
coffee
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 five different cities
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that over the past 4 weeks people
were
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 interested
to
Change the preposition
in
show examples
 going to
coffee
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 and
drink
Wrong verb form
drinking
show examples
 their
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea at
coffee
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 in most of the cities.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
sydney
Change the capitalization
Sydney
show examples
 has the highest number of
residant
Correct your spelling
resident
residents
 who got
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 with more than 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Change preposition
of whearas
show examples
whearas
Correct your spelling
whereas
,
Correct word choice
whereas Adelide
show examples
Adelide
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
 and Brisbane had the lowest amount with nearly 35
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 percentage.
Secondly
Linking Words
, more than 60
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of people
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Melbourne wanted to spend their time at
Use synonyms
coffee
Add an article
a coffee
the coffee
show examples
Use synonyms
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
while
Linking Words
 drinking their
coffee
Use synonyms
 which is the highest number
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to other cities.
However
Linking Words
, around 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of Australian citizens
drinked
Correct your spelling
drink
 their
coofee
Correct your spelling
coffee
 or tea at
Use synonyms
coffee
Add an article
the coffee
a coffee
show examples
Use synonyms
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
. In conclusion, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australian people tend to place an order at the
coffee
Use synonyms
shop
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of
grab
Wrong verb form
grabbing
show examples
 their drink and
leave
Wrong verb form
leaving
show examples
 the place.
Submitted by kk1994 on

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, shop, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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