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Band 7.5

Question Some people say that the Internet is bringing people together by making the world smaller. Do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?

#people #internet #world
Since its invention, the
Internet
 has affected the way people communicate. Some argue that its influence on the way we communicate is largely negative.
Nevertheless
, I believe that it has greatly increased the possibilities for interaction. One method that facilitates communication is that it allows organisations to transmit data quickly and effectively to the public. In the past, it was often difficult to find information about organisations and it could not be easily changed and updated.
However
, since the advent of the advent of the
Internet
, most professional organisations and media companies now have their own websites, where events and info are available to anyone with a wi-fi connection.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,
this
 means that accessing accurate information about companies and communicating effectively with the public has become a lot easier. It has
also
 facilitated connections between individuals. Prior to its age, the only main concept individuals communicated in writing was by sending letters. Nowadays, with the invention of
Internet
-based email and a range of social media applications, conversations are fast and cheap.
Moreover
, messages and emails are sent and received instantaneously, so individuals can keep in touch on a more regular basis and these communications can be received anywhere that a person has a suitable device and an
Internet
 connection, as opposed to letters which can only be received at a fixed address. In conclusion, it can be seen that the
Internet
 has had a positive effect on communication by giving people the opportunity to communicate more easily and frequently with others.
Submitted by shermadovs on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your points, particularly in the second paragraph. For instance, mention specific types of information accessible on organizational websites or specific social media apps that facilitate communication.
coherence cohesion
Review your work for minor repetitive phrases and word choices. For example, 'the advent of the advent of the Internet' could be simplified.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which enhances the readability and flow.
task achievement
The arguments presented are logical and relevant to the topic, showing a clear understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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