IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Write about the following topic: Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#topic #people #university #students #study #subjects #future #science #technology
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With the everyday development of both science and technology, most individuals feel obligated to these two subjects in the hopes of their usefulness in the near future,
while
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 others believe that they should
study
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 whatever they want to in their university. I personally object if
people
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 are forced to
study
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 only the
fields
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 that are related to science and technology because it can make
people
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 who are not gifted in these
fields
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 feel pressured and overwhelmed.
This
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 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of only studying those two
fields
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. There are many reasons for an individual to
study
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 their chosen
field
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 in university. One reason that
people
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 choose their
field
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 is because they are interested in the
field
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 and/or want to invest in that specific
field
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 for their future. An advantage of
this
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 is that those who are studying in their chosen major are more specialized in their
field
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. It can
also
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 lead to more job opportunities that need a unique, specialized
field
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.
On the other hand
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, those who are forced to
study
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 only two subjects related to science and technology are more susceptible to stress. Competition can
also
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 be a major flaw in
this
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 philosophy because it can lead to more individuals becoming jobless.
Also
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, when they are forced to pick a subject, the individual may feel a lack of individuality since their peers are
also
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 forced to pick the same
field
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. In conclusion, with the various amount of various
fields
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 that a person can choose,
people
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 should pick the one that interests them the most rather than being forced to
study
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 a particular
field
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
To improve your task response, make sure to consistently provide specific examples that illustrate your arguments. For instance, when discussing the disadvantages of studying only science and technology, you could cite actual scenarios or statistics related to student stress or unemployment in these fields.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using linking phrases and clear structure can guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly presents both views and states your opinion, giving a strong starting point for the essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both viewpoints, maintaining focus on the topic throughout without straying into irrelevant details.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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