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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of sunshine hours per year in three major city Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of sunshine hours per year in three major city Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #temperatures #sunshine #hours #year #three #city #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph highlights the data about the standard temperature in the
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
month of
year
Add an article
the year
show examples
 from January to December. The table illustrates the normal time of sunshine in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
several huge cities.
Overall
Linking Words
, the hottest month in
London
Use synonyms
 and New York is July,
while
Linking Words
 it is the coolest
one
Use synonyms
 in Sydney.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the most freezing time for
London
Use synonyms
 and New York’s population is January, when it is the most boiling period for Sydney’s citizens.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the biggest number of sunshine hours is in New York, but the smallest
one
Use synonyms
 is in
London
Use synonyms
. As shown in the graph, New York and
London
Use synonyms
 have the same dynamics, but in the first
Use synonyms
one
Add a comma
one,
show examples
 the temperature is a bit cooler. They have the pick of
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 in July with approximately 23.5 and 29,
while
Linking Words
 Sydney has it in January with about 26 degrees.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the main sunny city is the American
one
Use synonyms
. It has 2,535 hours of sunshine during the year. There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the Australian area in second place with 2,473 and the British city in third place with 1,180 hours.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words london, one with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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