IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

It is important to use English language for the development of tourism.Some people thinks that this will lead to English spoken globally. Discuss its advantages and disadvantages.

#english #language #development #tourism #people
Some
people
 think that the using of
English
Correct article usage
the English
show examples
language
 for the
improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
 of tourism will result in that it will be spoken around the world. There are some advantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 that
such
 as that will help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 to communicate
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier
Replace the word
easily
show examples
, and there are
also
 some disadvantages like it will lead
people
 to forget their
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
. On the one hand, the advantage of
this
 thinking is that will help
people
 to communicate
where ever
Correct your spelling
wherever
show examples
 they go, because when they travel to another country that will help them to communicate and spend their time
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
 when they
spoken
Wrong verb form
speak
show examples
 the same
language
.
On the other hand
, the disadvantage of
this
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 is that will lead
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not use their
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
 and their
language
 which will
effect
Verb problem
apply
show examples
negatively on them.
In
Change preposition
For
show examples
 instance, after
period
Add an article
a period
show examples
 of time
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 will forget their own
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
.
To sum up
, for the
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 and
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 that
mentioned
Add a missing verb
are mentioned
show examples
 , from my
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
 it is better for
people
 to
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
Engilsh
Correct your spelling
English
 to use it
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 communicate when it is needed, but without forget use their
language
 with their
people
.
Submitted by anasepic.9999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points. Relevant examples enhance the discussion and provide real-world context.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking ideas more clearly and logically. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Make sure to develop each point thoroughly. Expanding on your ideas with detailed explanations can improve clarity and task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, providing a good structure to your essay.
task achievement
You have identified both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, providing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The intent to support your argument with explanations is evident, which strengthens the essay's structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: