All over the world, the number of overweight people is growing. What do you feel are the main causes of this ? What are the effect ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Despite knowing about the effects of an unhealthy lifestyle and excessive food
consumption
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
but
Correct word choice
apply

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people
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still do them every day, so that the number of overweight
people
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is growing. The two main causes of the increase
of
Change preposition
in

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overweight
people
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are unhealthy
lifestyles
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and unhealthy
consumptions
Fix the agreement mistake
consumption

It seems that consumptions may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. They can slowly destroy the body organs of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans

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with bad fats. Human
activities
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every day are very diverse. These
activities
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create unhealthy
lifestyles
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,
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as instant
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Use synonyms
foods
Change the noun form
food

Your sentence appears to use the incorrect form of foods. Consider changing it to singular.

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consumption
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, sugary
beverages
Change the noun form
beverage

Your sentence appears to use the incorrect form of beverages. Consider changing it to singular.

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consumption
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, less
physic
Replace the word
physical

The word physic doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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activities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, and the lack of nutritional education
too
Rephrase
apply

There may be an adverb issue here.

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.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

order fast
foods
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and sugary beverages from online applications to their places. These easy
habbits
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habits

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of
people
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make less
phyisic
Correct your spelling
physical
physic

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activities
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in their daily routines. Because of that, the number of
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

overweight is growing.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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lack of nutritional education leading to poor dietary
choose
Replace the word
choices

The word choose doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and prioritization of taste over
health
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. So,
the
Correct article usage
apply

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economic factors make
unheathy
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
healthy

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food options more affordable compared
nutritious
Change preposition
to nutritious

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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alternatives.
The unhealthy
Correct article usage
Unhealthy

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lifestyles
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can cause various diseases that originate from
obesity
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as heart disease, diabetes, hypertension, etc.
Obesity
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can lead to psychological issues like depression and low self-esteem, impacting individuals' mental
health
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.
The mental
Correct article usage
Mental

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health
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems

It seems that problem may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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can be affected
to
Change preposition
by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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economic impacts
include
Wrong verb form
including

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb include. Consider changing it.

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loss of productivity in workplaces
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

health
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

complications among employees
too
Rephrase
apply

There may be an adverb issue here.

show examples
. Some possible solutions to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem are changing
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's mindsets and making
people
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aware of the dangers of
obesity
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.
People
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have to change their unhealthy
lifestyles
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to healthy
lifestyles
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as decreasing instant
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food

It seems that foods may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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consumption
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
be increasing
Wrong verb form
increase

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb be increasing. Consider changing it.

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healthy
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food

It seems that foods may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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consumption
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, more
physic
Replace the word
physical

The word physic doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in daily routines, and
make
Wrong verb form
making

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb make. Consider changing it.

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sport
Add an article
the sport

The noun phrase sport seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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as
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a necessity of life.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have to increase their
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge

It appears that knowledges is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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about healthy
nutritional
Replace the word
nutrition

The word nutritional doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and
choice
Replace the word
choose

The word choice doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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the right diet. Even healthy
nutritional
Replace the word
nutrition

The word nutritional doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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can obtained at a low price so that it can be consumed by poor economic.
By
Change preposition
In

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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these ways,
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can maintain their body
health
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and avoid various
deases
Correct your spelling
diseases

If you don’t want deases to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

that originate from overweight or
obesity
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the mental
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

problem
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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caused by
obesity
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can be avoided among employees too. In conclusion, the number of overweight
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can decrease by changing
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's
uhealthy
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
healthy

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mindsets and
uhealthy
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
healthy

If you don’t want uhealthy to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

lifestyles
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

become
Fix the infinitive
to become

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

show examples
healthy mindsets and healthy
lifestyles
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is a long-term investment for humans. Without a healthy body, life is nothing.

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task achievement
Try to support your arguments with more specific examples or statistical data to enhance credibility.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay is logically structured, ensure that transitions between ideas are smoother to improve the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the topic and sets the stage for discussion, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your points.
task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the task with a clear understanding of the causes and effects of obesity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overweight
  • Obesity
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Nutritional education
  • Aggressive marketing
  • Screen time
  • Economic factors
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Chronic illnesses
  • Heart disease
  • Diabetes
  • Hypertension
  • Psychological issues
  • Low self-esteem
  • Healthcare systems
  • Productivity
  • Stigmatization
  • Discrimination
  • Portion sizes
  • Convenience food
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