All over the world, the number of overweight people is growing. What do you feel are the main causes of this ? What are the effect ?

#world #people #effect

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Despite knowing about the effects of an unhealthy lifestyle and excessive food

consumption

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but

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apply

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people

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still do them every day, so that the number of overweight

people

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is growing. The two main causes of the increase

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overweight

people

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are unhealthy

lifestyles

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and unhealthy

consumptions

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consumption

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. They can slowly destroy the body organs of

human

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humans

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with bad fats. Human

activities

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every day are very diverse. These

activities

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create unhealthy

lifestyles

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such

Linking Words

as instant

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foods

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food

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consumption

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, sugary

beverages

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beverage

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consumption

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, less

physic

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physical

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activities

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, and the lack of nutritional education

too

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apply

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For instance

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people

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order fast

foods

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and sugary beverages from online applications to their places. These easy

habbits

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habits

people

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make less

phyisic

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physical

physic

activities

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in their daily routines. Because of that, the number of

people

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overweight is growing.

On the other hand

Linking Words

people

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have

the

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lack of nutritional education leading to poor dietary

choose

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choices

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and prioritization of taste over

health

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. So,

the

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apply

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economic factors make

unheathy

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unhealthy

healthy

food options more affordable compared

nutritious

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to nutritious

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alternatives.

The unhealthy

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Unhealthy

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lifestyles

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can cause various diseases that originate from

obesity

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such

Linking Words

as heart disease, diabetes, hypertension, etc.

Obesity

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can lead to psychological issues like depression and low self-esteem, impacting individuals' mental

health

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The mental

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Mental

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health

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problem

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problems

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can be affected

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show examples

economic impacts

include

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including

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loss of productivity in workplaces

due to

Linking Words

health

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complications among employees

too

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apply

show examples

. Some possible solutions to

this

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problem are changing

people

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's mindsets and making

people

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aware of the dangers of

obesity

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People

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have to change their unhealthy

lifestyles

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to healthy

lifestyles

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such

Linking Words

as decreasing instant

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foods

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food

show examples

consumption

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be increasing

Wrong verb form

increase

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healthy

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foods

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food

show examples

consumption

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, more

physic

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physical

show examples

activities

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in daily routines, and

make

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making

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sport

Add an article

the sport

show examples

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apply

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a necessity of life.

Moreover

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people

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have to increase their

knowledges

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knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

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about healthy

nutritional

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nutrition

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and

choice

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choose

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the right diet. Even healthy

nutritional

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nutrition

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can obtained at a low price so that it can be consumed by poor economic.

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show examples

these ways,

people

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can maintain their body

health

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and avoid various

deases

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diseases

that originate from overweight or

obesity

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On the other hand

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, the mental

health

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problem

which

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apply

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caused by

obesity

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can be avoided among employees too. In conclusion, the number of overweight

people

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can decrease by changing

people

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uhealthy

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unhealthy

healthy

mindsets and

uhealthy

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unhealthy

healthy

lifestyles

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become

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to become

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healthy mindsets and healthy

lifestyles

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However

Linking Words

health

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is a long-term investment for humans. Without a healthy body, life is nothing.

Submitted by imeldarosari6 on Sat Nov 23 2024

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task achievement

Try to support your arguments with more specific examples or statistical data to enhance credibility.

coherence cohesion

Although the essay is logically structured, ensure that transitions between ideas are smoother to improve the overall flow.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly presents the topic and sets the stage for discussion, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your points.

task achievement

The essay addresses all parts of the task with a clear understanding of the causes and effects of obesity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

379 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Overweight
Obesity
Sedentary lifestyle
Nutritional education
Aggressive marketing
Screen time
Economic factors
Genetic predisposition
Chronic illnesses
Heart disease
Diabetes
Hypertension
Psychological issues
Low self-esteem
Healthcare systems
Productivity
Stigmatization
Discrimination
Portion sizes
Convenience food

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All over the world, the number of overweight people is growing. What do you feel are the main causes of this ? What are the effect ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Distance learning is becoming a trend in many parts of the world. Write an essay of 250 words to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this way of learning

Many people work from home using modern technology today. Some people think that only the workers benefit from this and not the employers. Do you agree or disagree?