IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many people believe that cycling is a healthy and environmentally friendly mode of transport. However, it is still unpopular in many countries. What are the reasons? What could be done to encourage the use of bicycles among

#people #mode #transport #countries #bicycles
Many
people
 think that cycling is a healthy and environmentally friendly method of
transportation
.
However
, it is still unpopular in many countries. The reasons behind
this
 are a cycle is a slow
mode
 of
transportation
, and it requires manual
labour
 to operate. To encourage
people
for cycling
Change preposition
to cycle
show examples
, awareness should be created about the benefits of riding a
bicycle
. One of the principal reasons for being unpopular is
bicycles
 require manual
labour
 to operate.
Generally
Add a comma
Generally,
show examples
people
 do not want to
use
 manual
labour
while
commute
Wrong verb form
commuting
show examples
 to their destinations.
Moreover
, a
bicycle
 is a slow
mode
 of
transportation
. It takes a significant amount of time to commute from one place to another through a
bicycle
.
Therefore
, in regard to long distances,
bicycles
 are not
Add an article
a
the
show examples
suitable
mode
 of
transportation
.
For instance
, many
people
 do not love to
use
bicycles
 as a
mode
 of
transportation
 because they cannot
use
 them
while
 travelling to the majority of their destinations. To make
bicycles
 a favourite
mode
 of
transportation
 among the public, awareness should be created. The government can arrange several campaigns to promote the importance of
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 among the general public. These campaigns will promote the health and environmental benefits of
bicycles
.
As a result
,
people
 will be inspired to choose
bicycles
 as an alternative
mode
 of
transportation
. They will try to
use
bicycles
 where possible.
For instance
,
people
 in India,
use
bicycles
instead
 of cars, when they travel at least four or five
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 from their homes. In conclusion,
bicycles
 are not popular because they are not appropriate for
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
 travel, and they require manual
labour
 to operate. Awareness should be created by the government to promote the health and environmental benefits of
bicycles
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider adding more linking words and phrases to clearly connect your ideas.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples and explanations to strengthen your main points.
Task Achievement
Try to include more comprehensive ideas to develop each paragraph further.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, giving your essay a clear structure.
Task Achievement
Your response adequately addresses both parts of the task by identifying reasons and suggesting solutions.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your main points are coherent and on topic, providing a logical progression of ideas.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: