Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefit and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

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There is no denying the fact that the majority of tourists
keen
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are keen
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into
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on
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visiting places where conditions are difficult,
such
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as super cold or hot weather
areas
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.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that these experiences provide a sense of adventure and challenge for the tourists, there is
also
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an argument that these trips involve
a
Correct article usage
apply
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dangrous
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dangerous
acts.
This
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easy
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essay
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will analyze
this
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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
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the one
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hand, young tourists were the most visitors
of
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to
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these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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of
areas
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.
In other words
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, young people
seeking
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seek
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advanture
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advantage
in
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at
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their
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a
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young age to feel
accomplishment
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accomplished
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.
In addition
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, they want to measure their abilities by involving in
such
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adventure
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an adventure
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.
However
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, expanding your experiences with
such
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act
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acts
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will expand your knowledge in life.
For example
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, if they
succeeded
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succeed
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in
survive
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surviving
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in that tough weather, they will succeed in their life.
On the other hand
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, those
areas
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are not convenient for all individuals
such
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as children or old people. It is
also
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possible to say that, going
into
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on
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such
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adventures may
be consider
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be considered
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as
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apply
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a suicidal act because these
areas
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rarely
involved
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involve
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a
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apply
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medical care units.
Moreover
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, there is a high
chances
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chance
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to run
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of running
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into a wild animal.
For instance
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, if you were in
Antarctic
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the Antarctic
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, there
will
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would
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be
a high chances
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a high chance
high chances
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you
will
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would
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face a wild bear. In conclusion, there are no easy
answer
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answers
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to
this
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question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that if the individual
visited
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visits
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places where conditions are difficult, he/she will gain a wide knowledge but at the same time it
contain
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contains
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some risk.
Submitted by omima7a7md on

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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of the essay. Connect the ideas more clearly and ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words or phrases to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Work on supporting your main points with more specific and detailed examples. This will help illustrate your arguments better and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Be sure to stick more closely to the essay question. Make sure every paragraph directly relates back to the topic and addresses either benefits or disadvantages clearly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion neatly.
task achievement
You recognized both benefits and disadvantages, indicating a balanced approach to the task.
task achievement
Good attempt to engage with the reader by discussing a contemporary topic that's relevant to many tourists today.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • untouched natural beauty
  • diverse ecosystems
  • typical tourist destinations
  • sense of adventure
  • unique travel experiences
  • personal challenges
  • remote or untouched places
  • environmental awareness
  • natural conservation
  • harsh weather conditions
  • modern amenities
  • dehydration
  • frostbite
  • extreme conditions
  • special equipment
  • guides
  • permits
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