Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefit and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
There is no denying the fact that the majority of tourists
keen
Add a missing verb
are keen
into
visiting places where conditions are difficult, Change preposition
on
such
as super cold or hot weather areas
. While
it is a commonly held belief that these experiences provide a sense of adventure and challenge for the tourists, there is also
an argument that these trips involve a
Correct article usage
apply
dangrous
acts.
Correct your spelling
dangerous
This
easy
will analyze Correct your spelling
essay
this
topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
On one
hand, young tourists were the most visitors Correct article usage
the one
of
Change preposition
to
these kind
of Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
areas
. In other words
, young people seeking
Wrong verb form
seek
advanture
Correct your spelling
advantage
in
Change preposition
at
their
young age to feel Change the word
a
accomplishment
. Replace the word
accomplished
In addition
, they want to measure their abilities by involving in such
adventure
. Correct article usage
an adventure
However
, expanding your experiences with such
act
will expand your knowledge in life. Fix the agreement mistake
acts
For example
, if they succeeded
in Wrong verb form
succeed
survive
in that tough weather, they will succeed in their life.
Wrong verb form
surviving
On the other hand
, those areas
are not convenient for all individuals such
as children or old people. It is also
possible to say that, going into
Change preposition
on
such
adventures may be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
as
a suicidal act because these Change preposition
apply
areas
rarely involved
Wrong verb form
involve
a
medical care units. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, there is a high chances
Change the noun form
chance
to run
into a wild animal. Change preposition
of running
For instance
, if you were in Antarctic
, there Correct article usage
the Antarctic
will
be Wrong verb form
would
a high chances
you Correct the article-noun agreement
a high chance
high chances
will
face a wild bear.
In conclusion, there are no easy Wrong verb form
would
answer
to Fix the agreement mistake
answers
this
question. On balance, however
, I tend to believe that if the individual visited
places where conditions are difficult, he/she will gain a wide knowledge but at the same time it Wrong verb form
visits
contain
some risk.Change the verb form
contains
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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of the essay. Connect the ideas more clearly and ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words or phrases to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Work on supporting your main points with more specific and detailed examples. This will help illustrate your arguments better and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Be sure to stick more closely to the essay question. Make sure every paragraph directly relates back to the topic and addresses either benefits or disadvantages clearly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion neatly.
task achievement
You recognized both benefits and disadvantages, indicating a balanced approach to the task.
task achievement
Good attempt to engage with the reader by discussing a contemporary topic that's relevant to many tourists today.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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