IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

These days,many people have their own computer and telephone.So it is quite easy for them to do their job at home.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working from home.

#people #computer #telephone #job #home
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Nowadays, most people find that
,
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apply
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working from home using their personal devices is the most convenient option.We are living in a technological era,where advancements continuously shape how we live,
work
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 and connect. In
this
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 essay,I will touch on both
benefits
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the benefits
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 and drawbacks of the situation. On the one hand, one potential drawback of modern times is that
,
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apply
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 many people own a computer and a phone,enabling them to
work
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 from home, which could directly
negative
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negatively
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 impact their mental well-being.
While
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 convenient,it blurs the distinction between
work
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 and personal life,increasing
streess
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stress
. The absence of
face to face
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face-to-face
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 interactions with colleagues can make employees feel isolated from the team.
Furthermore
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, relying on digital tools can lead to information overload, as constant notifications, can create
distraction
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a distraction
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,reducing
productuity
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productivity
 and focus.The lack of immediate feedback can
also
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 hinder professional growth.
On the other hand
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, there are upsides,which cannot be given a miss.One of the main advantages is that, it
allowes
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allows
 individuals to save
time
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 and money that would typically be spent on commuting.
For instance
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,remote
work
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 removes the need to spend
time
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 getting dressed for the office,providing more free
time
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 during the
days
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day
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.It
also
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 reduces transportation expenses or fuel consumption. Another major point is that
,
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apply
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employess
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employees
employers
 can use their laptops and phones to complete tasks,whenever and wherever they want.
Finally
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, remote
work
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 is particularly beneficial for parents, especially mothers, as it enables them to manage both their professional duties and childcare responsibilities, including school drop-offs and pick-ups. In conclusion,
while
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 working from home offers convenience,it
also
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 presents challenges,
such
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 as social isolation, communication barriers and increased stress.
However
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, remote
work
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 provides numerous benefits,
such
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 as
time
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 and cost savings,the flexibility to
work
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 from virtually anywhere and allowing better
work
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-life balance.
Submitted by ayshanngurbanova on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, try using more linking words and phrases to ensure better flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will make it easier for readers to follow your train of thought.
Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or evidence for each point. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
Task Achievement
Try to elaborate more on the points you introduce. Expanding on them will give a clearer and more comprehensive understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction is well-structured and effectively sets the stage for your discussion.
Task Achievement
You present both advantages and disadvantages of working from home, showing a balanced approach.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the essay well, reinforcing the main points discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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