The line graph show the gold sales in Dubai in 2002

The line graph show the gold sales in Dubai in 2002
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The line graph shows the
sales
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of
gold
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in one Asian city, Dubai, in 2002. Units are measured in millions of
dirhams
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
gold
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sales
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fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
show examples
significantly during the whole
year
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, with the highest
amount
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recorded in March.
However
Linking Words
, it is July and September months that saw the lowest
amount
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of
gold
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sales
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in Dubai in 2002. To start with the first seven months, around 200
million
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dirhams
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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spent on
gold
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by people in Dubai in the first month of the
year
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, after which,
this
Linking Words
figure
surge
Wrong verb form
surged
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to about 350
million
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dirhams
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in March - the highest sale.
However
Linking Words
, the
sales
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of
gold
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experienced a dramatic decline to approximately 120
million
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dirhams
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in July, the second month of summer. Regarding the rest of the
year
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, people spent just above 200
million
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of
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apply
show examples
dirhams
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in order to purchase
gold
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in August. After falling to the
amount
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of July's
gold
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sales
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in September, the figure rose again to about 180
million
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dirhams
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in October.
Finally
Linking Words
, by the end of the
year
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,
this
Linking Words
amount
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showed almost no changes.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, gold, dirhams, year, amount, million with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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