The line graph show the gold sales in Dubai in 2002

The line graph show the gold sales in Dubai in 2002
The line graph shows the
sales
of
gold
in one Asian city, Dubai, in 2002. Units are measured in millions of
dirhams
.
Overall
,
gold
sales
fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
show examples
significantly during the whole
year
, with the highest
amount
recorded in March.
However
, it is July and September months that saw the lowest
amount
of
gold
sales
in Dubai in 2002. To start with the first seven months, around 200
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dirhams
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
spent on
gold
by people in Dubai in the first month of the
year
, after which,
this
figure
surge
Wrong verb form
surged
show examples
to about 350
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dirhams
in March - the highest sale.
However
, the
sales
of
gold
experienced a dramatic decline to approximately 120
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dirhams
in July, the second month of summer. Regarding the rest of the
year
, people spent just above 200
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dirhams
in order to purchase
gold
in August. After falling to the
amount
of July's
gold
sales
in September, the figure rose again to about 180
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dirhams
in October.
Finally
, by the end of the
year
,
this
amount
showed almost no changes.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, gold, dirhams, year, amount, million with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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