Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Part of the population believes that too
competition
Correct quantifier usage
much competition
show examples
inside schools can affect
students
negatively.
On the other hand
, some consider
this
as an encouragement for young
students
. I believe that it depends on the kind of
competition
and the
students'
Correct your spelling
student's
show examples
age. In my opinion, primary
school
does not have to create a competitive environment. I think so because
students
in their first years of
school
do not have to be competitive.
Instead
, they should play together, trying to enjoy the time spent at
school
and learning things that are more important than good grades, like how to behave in certain situations and respect for others.
For example
,
competition
could put pressure on
students
and some of them might want to finish their
school
path as soon as possible. I believe that attending
school
and studying are the most important things that a young person should do, and the aim of primary
school
should be to encourage people to study.
However
, high
school
students
are older and they should start to learn how to manage stressful environments.
Although
,
this
does not mean that
school
has to create toxic
competition
. I believe that there is a kind of healthy
competition
that can contribute to pushing
students
beyond their limits, but teachers have the key role of managing the
competition
.
For instance
, teachers should help
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
those
students
who have difficulties, in spite of putting pressure on them and making them feel wrong. In conclusion, I consider
school
competition
as a positive opportunity only if it is created in a proper environment under the control of a teacher.
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task response
Try to clarify your position in the introduction and conclusion to strengthen your argument. For example, mention clearly whether you agree more with one side or the other, and ensure your essay's direction aligns with this view.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are clearly explained, especially when transitioning from one paragraph to another. This will help maintain a logical flow in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which are crucial for coherence.
task response
You managed to discuss both views adequately and presented your own opinion with reasoning.
task response
You’ve provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • undue stress
  • academic achievement
  • critical thinking
  • interpersonal skills
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • social isolation
  • bullying
  • reduced collaboration
  • motivation
  • achieve their goals
  • resilience
  • perseverance
  • innovation
  • improvement
  • outperform
  • higher standards
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