Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #schools #impact #children #environment

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Part of the population believes that too

Use synonyms

competition

Correct quantifier usage

much competition

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inside schools can affect

students

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negatively.

On the other hand

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, some consider

this

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as an encouragement for young

students

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. I believe that it depends on the kind of

competition

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and the

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students'

Correct your spelling

student's

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age. In my opinion, primary

school

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does not have to create a competitive environment. I think so because

students

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in their first years of

school

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do not have to be competitive.

Instead

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, they should play together, trying to enjoy the time spent at

school

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and learning things that are more important than good grades, like how to behave in certain situations and respect for others.

For example

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competition

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could put pressure on

students

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and some of them might want to finish their

school

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path as soon as possible. I believe that attending

school

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and studying are the most important things that a young person should do, and the aim of primary

school

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should be to encourage people to study.

However

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, high

school

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students

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are older and they should start to learn how to manage stressful environments.

Although

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this

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does not mean that

school

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has to create toxic

competition

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. I believe that there is a kind of healthy

competition

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that can contribute to pushing

students

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beyond their limits, but teachers have the key role of managing the

competition

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For instance

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, teachers should help

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apply

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those

students

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who have difficulties, in spite of putting pressure on them and making them feel wrong. In conclusion, I consider

school

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competition

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as a positive opportunity only if it is created in a proper environment under the control of a teacher.

Submitted by alessandrorepola.repola on Sat Nov 23 2024

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task response

Try to clarify your position in the introduction and conclusion to strengthen your argument. For example, mention clearly whether you agree more with one side or the other, and ensure your essay's direction aligns with this view.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your ideas are clearly explained, especially when transitioning from one paragraph to another. This will help maintain a logical flow in your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which are crucial for coherence.

task response

You managed to discuss both views adequately and presented your own opinion with reasoning.

task response

You’ve provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

undue stress
academic achievement
critical thinking
interpersonal skills
unhealthy rivalries
social isolation
bullying
reduced collaboration
motivation
achieve their goals
resilience
perseverance
innovation
improvement
outperform
higher standards

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Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that the government should be responsible for crimes prevention, while others believe that it is responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be shut down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.

In many parts of the world, women study science and technology, but donot work in these fields. What measures can be taken to encourage women to work in science and technology?

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

With increasing populations and ever growing urban centers, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protecting places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?