The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #team #sports #school

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Cooperativeness is best learnt at

school

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by joining

team

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sports. Generally, I believe in

this

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view,

however

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children

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not only learn

this

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attitude in

school

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

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in the environment they live in.

To begin

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with, being

part

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of the

school

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's sports

team

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is a great

way

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for

children

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to understand how to cooperate with other individuals because in

this

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way

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, since teamwork is a must, kids will have to demonstrate appropriate ways of communicating with teammates.

For example

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, in joining a basketball sports

team

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, they must know that cooperativeness is

part

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of the game, not just playing in general, but

also

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the

way

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they interact with others.

Therefore

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, being

part

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of it is a bridge to learning the proper manners of working with a

team

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In addition

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to that, another

way

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of acquiring

this

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attitude is by how parents introduced each child to cooperating with other

children

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in places

such

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playground

Fix the agreement mistake

playgrounds

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, church and society. Because

children

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grow up in various environments and are surrounded by different people, introduction by their guardians is crucial.

For instance

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, teaching kids how to find playmates around the park, or in their neighbourhood, and letting them understand that interacting with other kids is important to maintain friendships.

Thus

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children

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can

also

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gain the knowledge of cooperativeness at home and

other

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in other

show examples

environments. In conclusion, it is undeniable that being

part

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of a

school

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team

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is one of the best ways to teach

children

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to cooperate with others.

However

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, I believe that the surroundings they are in can

also

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be the source of

this

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learning

such

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as their home, their playground

as well as

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their community.

Submitted by cng123 on Sun Nov 24 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph links smoothly to the next. Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument more seamlessly.

Task Achievement

Explore alternative perspectives more deeply. You provided a solid response, but addressing potential counterarguments or more varied views could enhance the depth.

Coherence and Cohesion

A more explicit thesis statement in your introduction can guide your essay more clearly. State your position more directly at the start.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.

Task Achievement

Good use of specific examples to illustrate your points, such as the basketball team example.

Coherence and Cohesion

The argument is logically structured with distinct sections focusing on team sports and home environment.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cooperation
teamwork
communication
values
applied
aspects
belonging
camaraderie
participating
essential
social skills

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The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative situtaion?