The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Cooperativeness is best learnt at
school
Use synonyms
by joining
team
Use synonyms
sports. Generally, I believe in
this
Linking Words
view,
however
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
not only learn
this
Linking Words
attitude in
school
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
in the environment they live in.
To begin
Linking Words
with, being
part
Use synonyms
of the
school
Use synonyms
's sports
team
Use synonyms
is a great
way
Use synonyms
for
children
Use synonyms
to understand how to cooperate with other individuals because in
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
, since teamwork is a must, kids will have to demonstrate appropriate ways of communicating with teammates.
For example
Linking Words
, in joining a basketball sports
team
Use synonyms
, they must know that cooperativeness is
part
Use synonyms
of the game, not just playing in general, but
also
Linking Words
the
way
Use synonyms
they interact with others.
Therefore
Linking Words
, being
part
Use synonyms
of it is a bridge to learning the proper manners of working with a
team
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
to that, another
way
Use synonyms
of acquiring
this
Linking Words
attitude is by how parents introduced each child to cooperating with other
children
Use synonyms
in places
such
Linking Words
as
playground
Fix the agreement mistake
playgrounds
show examples
, church and society. Because
children
Use synonyms
grow up in various environments and are surrounded by different people, introduction by their guardians is crucial.
For instance
Linking Words
, teaching kids how to find playmates around the park, or in their neighbourhood, and letting them understand that interacting with other kids is important to maintain friendships.
Thus
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
can
also
Linking Words
gain the knowledge of cooperativeness at home and
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
environments. In conclusion, it is undeniable that being
part
Use synonyms
of a
school
Use synonyms
's
team
Use synonyms
is one of the best ways to teach
children
Use synonyms
to cooperate with others.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that the surroundings they are in can
also
Linking Words
be the source of
this
Linking Words
learning
such
Linking Words
as their home, their playground
as well as
Linking Words
their community.
Submitted by cng123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph links smoothly to the next. Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument more seamlessly.
Task Achievement
Explore alternative perspectives more deeply. You provided a solid response, but addressing potential counterarguments or more varied views could enhance the depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
A more explicit thesis statement in your introduction can guide your essay more clearly. State your position more directly at the start.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
Task Achievement
Good use of specific examples to illustrate your points, such as the basketball team example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is logically structured with distinct sections focusing on team sports and home environment.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • values
  • applied
  • aspects
  • belonging
  • camaraderie
  • participating
  • essential
  • social skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: