IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Social media is an essential part of young people’s lives nowadays, but its impact is often criticized. What are the advantages and disadvantages of social media in teenagers’ and young adults’ lives?

#media #part #people’s #lives #impact #teenagers’ #adults’
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ALTHOUGH
Linking Words
 SOCIAL
MEDIA
Use synonyms
 HAS A PARAMOUNT IMPORTANCE IN THE YOUTH'S
LIVES
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
HOWEVER
Add the comma(s)
HOWEVER,
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 IT IS JUDGED BY PEOPLE
DUE TO
Linking Words
 EFFECTS. IT HAS BOTH ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES IN
TEENAGERS
Use synonyms
'
LIVES
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. ONE MAJOR ADVANTAGE IS BEING
SOURCE
Correct article usage
A SOURCE
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 OF INFORMATION, THROUGH
THE
Correct article usage
apply
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SOCIAL
MEDIA
Use synonyms
 BOTH
TEENAGERS
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 AND YOUNG ADULTS STAY INFORMED,
THEY
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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GET RECENT NEWS AND BROADEN
THE
Change the word
THEIR
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 HORIZONS AND OUTLOOK.
ADDITIONALLY
Linking Words
, THEY GET IN TOUCH BY ACCESSING SOCIAL
MEDIA
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 PLATFORMS
,
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apply
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AND TAKE THE ADVANTAGE OF
SUCH
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 FEATURES TEXTING, CALLING,
SHARES
Wrong verb form
SHARING
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 INFORMATION AND THEIR DAILY
LIVES
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 . APART FROM THAT, SOCIAL
MEDIA
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 WOULD BE
BEST
Correct article usage
THE BEST
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 OPTION TO ENLARGE
CYCLE
Correct article usage
THE CYCLE
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 OF FRIENDS, PARTICULARLY FOR SOME
TEENAGERS
Use synonyms
 WHO ARE ANTISOCIAL AND SUFFER FROM LONELINESS.
FOR INSTANCE
Linking Words
, TWITTER AND THREADS ARE
HIGHLY-RECOMMENDED
Correct your spelling
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
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PLATFROMS
Correct your spelling
PLATFORMS
 FOR MAKING FRIENDS. A
FURTHER
Linking Words
 DRAWBACK IS BEING
WASTE
Correct article usage
A WASTE
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 OF TIME, BOTH
TEENAGERS
Use synonyms
 AND YOUNG ADULTS SPEND MOST OF THEIR DAILY TIME ON SOCIAL
MEDIA
Use synonyms
, JUST SCROLLING THE VIDEOS OR PHOTOS
INSTEAD
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 OF DOING PHYSICAL ACTIVITY OR DOING ASSIGNMENTS. IT LEADS TO ADDICTION AND
YIELD
Correct subject-verb agreement
YIELDS
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 NEGATIVE RESULTS, NAMELY DEPRESSION,
SEDENTARY
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A SEDENTARY
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 LIFESTYLE,
Correct word choice
AND
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INSOMNIA. ALL THESE NEGATIVE IMPLICATIONS AFFECT PRODUCTIVITY.
TO CONCLUDE
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, DESPITE
SIGNIFICANT
Correct article usage
THE SIGNIFICANT
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 BENEFITS OF SOCIAL
MEDIA
Use synonyms
 ON
TEENAGERS
Use synonyms
'
LIVES
Use synonyms
, IT HAS ADVERSE EFFECTS.
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task achievement
When discussing multiple aspects of a topic, ensure each point is developed sufficiently. For example, consider using specific data or studies to support the impact of social media addiction on teenagers, or provide more examples of how social media can broaden horizons and outlook.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using transition words and phrases can help maintain the flow of the essay and guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Strong opening and closing paragraphs that set the stage and summarize your arguments well.
task achievement
Addresses both advantages and disadvantages of social media, showcasing a balanced perspective on the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • educational content
  • self-expression
  • cyberbullying
  • addiction
  • mental health issues
  • privacy concerns
  • identity theft
  • sleep patterns
  • digital space
  • social networking platforms
  • information access
  • creativity
  • self-expression
  • showcase talents
What to do next:
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