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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#uk #time #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart compares how the unemployed British people spent their mornings and afternoons
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 spent most of their time doing Housework and Shopping in the morning and
afternoon
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 spent their time on Job Hunting throughout the day. In the morning,
men
Use synonyms
 do most of the Job hunting than
women
Use synonyms
, which is 22% and 16%, respectively.
Whereas
Linking Words
 most
women
Use synonyms
 do the housework in these hours than
men
Use synonyms
, accounting for 49% of
women
Use synonyms
 and only 19% of
men
Use synonyms
 who do
this
Linking Words
. As for shopping,
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 are prone to
this
Linking Words
 sector, with only a small difference between 20% and 26%, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, 14% of
men
Use synonyms
 do gardening after the sun peaks into the day than
women
Use synonyms
 with almost none. The following least voted activities account for less than 10% of the
men
Use synonyms
's and
women
Use synonyms
's time; Visiting friends or relatives, reading, decorating, etc.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, in
afternoon
Use synonyms
 activities,
women
Use synonyms
 still do the housework more than
men
Use synonyms
's, having 21% and 7%, respectively,
Although
Linking Words
 TV, Job hunting, and Visiting friends are almost the same in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
 with both genders accounting for less than 16%, Shopping tends to be higher in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
 for
women
Use synonyms
, with 17% votes,
whereas
Linking Words
, only 9% of
men
Use synonyms
 does
this
Linking Words
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there are still the same amount of
men
Use synonyms
 who perform gardening at these hours based on the survey. The other
not-mentioned
Correct your spelling
non-mentioned
show examples
 activities which are less likely voted only have less than 10% are reading, decorating, walking, etc.
Submitted by jancris81 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, afternoon, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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