The money given to help poor countries does not solve the problem of poverty, so rich countries should give other types of help instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Poverty is a huge issue in poor countries.
However
, the money
that are
given to them Change the verb form
is
are
useless. Over the years, many rich Change the verb form
is
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
try
to fight Wrong verb form
have tried
poverty
problem of poor Correct article usage
the poverty
nations
with allocate
funds, but Change preposition
by allocating
this
does
not Verb problem
has
help
to solve it. In my opinion, changing the way of donating Wrong verb form
helped
poor
Change preposition
to poor
contries
is Correct your spelling
countries
Correct article usage
a crocail
crocail
Correct your spelling
crucial
duo
to the Correct your spelling
due
money
given is
does not Correct your spelling
it
solving
the issue and there are many Wrong verb form
solve
curreptaion
in the world three Correct your spelling
corruption
nations
.
To begin
with, one of the primary disadvantages of giving poor contries
Correct your spelling
countries
money
is it not helping them to remove the problem. For instance
, if we gave
a poor person Wrong verb form
give
money
, it is more likely to be lost because of the less awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
in
financial things. Change preposition
of
Furthermore
, recent research by the University of Prince Sultan (PSU) has shown that 70% of the donaited
funds Correct your spelling
donated
into
poor Change preposition
to
nations
are used in wrong
way. In brief, giving Add an article
the wrong
a wrong
money
to the poor contries
will not be beneficial to solve the problem.
Correct your spelling
countries
In addition
, another significant disadvantage is there are
a lot of Change the verb form
is
currption
in these Correct your spelling
corruption
correction
contries
, notably from people who have Correct your spelling
countries
the
big responsibility Correct article usage
a
in
the economy. Change preposition
for
For example
, during the war in Palestine
most of the donations from Add a comma
Palestine,
another countries
were Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
stollen
by Correct your spelling
stolen
currupt
people from the country. Correct your spelling
corrupt
Moreover
, Last
study by the University of Harvard has shown that 62% of funds that Correct article usage
the Last
goes
to poor Correct subject-verb agreement
go
nations
is stollen
by individuals and resale Correct your spelling
stolen
it
again. In short, the Correct pronoun usage
apply
curruptation
in these countries has become increasingly popular, which Correct your spelling
corruption
prevent
the people Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
inneed
.
In conclusion, I believe that transforming the method of helping poor Correct your spelling
in need
nations
is nessesary
. Giving Correct your spelling
necessary
money
to them is not good
choice, as the issue will not be solved, and Add an article
a good
also
curruption
Correct your spelling
corruption
are
more likely to Change the verb form
is
stole
the Change the form of the verb
steal
money
. Trying another types
of Replace the adjective
another type
other types
solution
are likely to become more effective.Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure all your ideas directly address the essay question. Explicitly state your position in the introduction and summarize your main points clearly in the conclusion. Provide specific examples, and aim to elaborate on why other forms of aid may be more effective.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, develop each paragraph with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details. Use linking words and phrases effectively to connect your ideas, and ensure that each paragraph transitions logically to the next. Clarify and expand upon the points in the body paragraphs for stronger coherence.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, framing your argument clearly.
supported main points
The essay addresses the alternative forms of aid as a central theme, touching on the importance of considering corruption and misuse of funds in making a case for alternative aid.
relevant specific examples
There are specific examples provided, such as research statistics, which strengthen your argument about the inefficacy and corruption related to monetary aid.