The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram gives information about how an Australian town collects and converts rainwater into drinking
water
.
This
involves four main houses.
Overall
, there are three main cycles of converting rainwater into drinking
water
in an Australian town.
Initially
, from collecting
rain
Correct your spelling
rainwater
show examples
water
to undergoing filtration, treatment and
lastly
, the release from
tap
Add an article
the tap
a tap
show examples
as drinking
water
. In detail, there are four established houses collecting rainwater, the liquid will pass through the drainage attached from the right side of each home.
Furthermore
, the pipes underground are larger than the ones connected to each house. These pipes are the pathway of drained
water
which will be cleared out by a
water
filter machine.
Then
, it will run down to a huge rectangular storage place,
moreover
,
water
will be transferred into another storage where
water
treatment application occurs mixed with chemicals.
Finally
, after the treatment procedure, the liquid will run up and is now ready for drinking.
Submitted by cng123 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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