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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows the monthly spending in dollars of a family in the USA on three items in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the monthly spending in dollars of a family in the USA on three items in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #dollars #usa #three #items #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart above depicts
expenditure
Correct article usage
the expenditure
show examples
 per month in
dollars
Use synonyms
 of a particular family in the USA on three different needs,
such
Linking Words
 as food, gas, and clothing in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that all of the items
was fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
has fluctuated
show examples
 and it was
respresented
Correct your spelling
represented
 by one line in green colour.
First,
Linking Words
in January, the family was spending as much as 500 US
Dollars
Use synonyms
 on food.
Then
Linking Words
, in the next month, the spending increased to 580
dollars
Use synonyms
. After that, they pressed the budget to 420
dollars
Use synonyms
 and continuously until April to below 400
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, in January and March, the family was expended around 380
dollars
Use synonyms
 on gas.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, in February, they spend only 320
dollars
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the expenditure on gas
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sharply climbed to 580
dollars
Use synonyms
, in April. On the
last
Linking Words
 item, at
first,
Linking Words
the family budget for clothes
just
Add a missing verb
was just
show examples
 about 220
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, the number was dramatically soared to 590
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the budget decreased in March. Later, in April, they bought clothes and
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 more than 600
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "first, ".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words dollars with synonyms.
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