IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some cities have spent a large amount of money on bicycles . Why does it happened ? Do you think that it is the best way to solve traffic problems?

#cities #amount #money #bicycles #traffic
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Several cities have invested a huge amount of money in
bicycles
. It is widely believed that
this
 type of
transport
 could be extremely beneficial for the environment because it is a pollution-free mode of
transport
 and requires minimal fossil fuels.
In addition
 to
this
 ,travelling around with a bicycle appears to be helpful in order to reduce megacities’
traffic
 issues.
This
 essay will elaborate on these points and provide a personal perspective. Today ,more and more developed cities are switching to
bicycles
.
To begin
 with, there is evidence that
this
 certain type of
transport
 is considered to be eco-friendly and offers no emissions into the atmosphere, like cars and buses.
Furthermore
, cycling provides individuals with health benefits,
such
 as promoting regular physical activity and encouraging a healthier lifestyle .
For instance
,practice shows that if a person arrives at work by bicycle
instead
 of any other
transport
 his muscles will be activated and blood circulation will be better ,
as a result
 doing it regularly leads to well-being and better concentration on the tasks.
Moreover
,
traffic
 congestion is a common problem that many people can relate to. Everyone has experienced being late to an important meeting
due to
 road issues.So the easiest way to get rid of
this
 type of issue is to use
bicycles
. It does not create any
traffic
 jams,and because cyclists are travelling on their own separate paths,it
also
 leads to mitigation of danger and chances to get into accidents on the road .
Due to
 its compactness ,even if there is a large number of
bicycles
 ,there will never be
a
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huge
traffic
 ,as it usually happens with cars if one of the lanes is closed or the road is under repair.
To sum up
 ,I firmly believe that transitioning to
this
 eco-friendly mode of
transport
 is an excellent way to reduce atmospheric pollution and alleviate
traffic
 congestion.
Submitted by pandatvin3 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions to enhance the flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Maintain a consistent formal tone throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the task effectively, providing a clear and comprehensive response.
Coherence & Cohesion
It provides strong supporting details and examples for the main points, making the argument convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and contribute to a well-rounded essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure investment
  • traffic congestion
  • air pollution
  • sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • cycling culture
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • public health benefits
  • economic disparities
  • urban living environment
  • noise pollution
  • road capacity
  • transport accessibility
  • cycling lanes
  • safety concerns
What to do next:
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