IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

3.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
In
this
Linking Words
 period of inflation
modernity
Correct word choice
and modernity
show examples
,
college
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
live far away from
home
Use synonyms
 than
live
Verb problem
apply
show examples
at
home
Use synonyms
 with their
parents
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion and my opinion will be discussed in
further
Linking Words
 paragraphs with a suitable conclusion.
Body paragraph 1
Supporting my agreement to the given statement, I firmly believe that study is
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 important role for
college
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 in their bright future.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 more
students
Use synonyms
 are
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in
college
Use synonyms
 hostel
campus
Fix the agreement mistake
campuses
show examples
 to more and more
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
focused
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 and modern
Use synonyms
college
Fix the agreement mistake
colleges
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
avoid
to interfere
Change the verb form
interfering
show examples
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
Explaining some of the
another supporting points
Replace the adjective
another supporting point
other supporting points
show examples
 in favour
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
 statement, it is true that
college
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
live far away from
home
Use synonyms
 than live at
home
Use synonyms
 with their
parents
Use synonyms
.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 are more concentrated
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 and managing
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 funding without their
parents
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, It is better for
college
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 to live far away from
home
Use synonyms
 than
live
Fix the infinitive
to live
show examples
 at
home
Use synonyms
 with their
parents
Use synonyms
. I believe that
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
 points are strongly supporting my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on logically structuring your essay. Each paragraph should clearly support your overall position and flow smoothly from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas and arguments. Ensure that your main points are clearly presented and developed with supporting details.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. These will help strengthen your argument and show the reader concrete cases or evidence.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion in your essay, which is crucial for providing a clear structure and perspective.
task achievement
Your stance on the topic is clear, and having a strong position helps guide the reader through your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • responsibility
  • life skills
  • budgeting
  • cooking
  • time management
  • social integration
  • networking
  • extracurricular activities
  • academic resources
  • distractions
  • cultural exposure
  • personal development
  • global understanding
  • self-discovery
  • personal growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: