In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Obesity
is a challenging health issue that 35% of the world's population suffers from and its complications. And 28% of
this
figure are children under the age of 16 years old. In
this
essay, I will outline the common reasons behind
obesity
among children and the possible solutions to overcome
this
phenomenon.
Firstly
, it can not be denied that the modern lifestyle and unhealthy eating habits are the main causes behind weight issues. A recent epidemiological study found that 76% of urban area residents do less than 5,000 steps/day
while
they consume a high-calorie
diet
. The combination of these two life choices will lead to
obesity
and metabolic syndrome.
Thus
, a sedentary lifestyle and reduced physical
activity
in combination with a
diet
which is high in simple sugars and saturated fats will lead to catastrophic health problems. A BMI (Body Mass Index) higher than 25 is associated with a 9-fold increase in Diabetes and cardiovascular diseases. In 2030, the leading cause of liver transplant is expected to be liver cirrhosis secondary to fatty liver and
obesity
. Today, medical societies and governmental bodies join efforts to increase society's awareness about the importance of increasing physical
activity
and adopting a healthy
diet
.
For instance
, screening programs for weight-related issues are implemented in all primary care centres which focus on the primary prevention of
obesity
.
Moreover
, schools in Saudi Arabia have increased the number of physical
activity
classes and offer the students to join sports clubs which are free of charge.
Furthermore
, on a personal level, individuals need a strong well-power commitment to take small steps to improve their
overall
well-being
such
as joining team sports, subscribing to healthy meal plans and eating in moderation. Small but consistent initiatives could have a tremendous positive impact on our health. In conclusion,
obesity
is a serious medical condition which is a threat to the quality of life of human beings especially children and should be prevented by adopting a balanced lifestyle which combines both physical
activity
and a healthy
diet
.
Submitted by ghadeersulami on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, and try to link ideas between paragraphs more explicitly.
Task Achievement
Expand on solutions a bit more by providing more specific examples of governmental and individual initiatives beyond just what is mentioned.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively encapsulates the main ideas of the discussion.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by identifying both causes of childhood obesity and potential solutions, illustrated with relevant examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • childhood obesity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • balanced diet
  • fast food
  • sugary snacks
  • physical activity
  • nutrition education
  • health campaigns
  • public health initiatives
  • government regulations
  • home-cooked meals
  • extracurricular sports
  • digital entertainment
  • sedentary behavior
What to do next:
Look at other essays: