The graph shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

#shops #country

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The line graph provides data on how

much

Correct quantifier usage

many

show examples

shops

Use synonyms

were closed and opened in one particular country in the years 2011 and 2018.

Overall

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

closures showed a minimal decline over a period,

openings

Use synonyms

experienced a downward trend. Of particular note, both of them fluctuated. In the beginning,

openings

Use synonyms

leveled

Change the spelling

levelled

show examples

off

around

Change preposition

at around

show examples

8,500

shops

Use synonyms

, experiencing a significant drop to 4,000 after a year.

However

Linking Words

, they started to rise and reached just over 6,000 markets in 2013. Meanwhile,

openings

Use synonyms

fell moderately to 4,000 in 2015.

Although

Linking Words

they declined,

openings

Use synonyms

remained the same number of markets until 2016,

then

Linking Words

showing a small growth to just over 4,000. Yet,

at the end

Linking Words

of the period,

openings

Use synonyms

shops

Use synonyms

dropped markedly to 3,000.

Similarly

Linking Words

, closures which stood at about 6,500

shops

Use synonyms

in 2011, declined slowly to 6,000. In 2013,

though

Correct word choice

although

show examples

they increased to roughly 7,100, after a year started to drop to around 6,500

shops

Use synonyms

, declining dramatically by about 600 in 2015. But, they rose rapidly to just over 5,000 in 2016.

Additionally

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

closures showed a small fall to 5,000 in the next year, they ended with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

similar number of

shops

Use synonyms

2016

Change preposition

in 2016

show examples

(just over 5,000)in 2018.

Submitted by Writing9 on Mon Nov 25 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words shops, openings with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 3 times.

▼

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

194 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

trend
fluctuation
peak
decline
surge
stabilize
correlation
economic conditions
consumer behavior
technological advancements
urban development
employment
retail sector

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The graph shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

"The Influences of Major Sports Events and Other Factors on Youth Participation in Sports" This title clearly reflects the main themes of your essay and gives the reader an idea of what to

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects.Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to study for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

nuclear power is far too dangerous, therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy.to what extent do you agree.

In many countries people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after their retirement. Discuss why it is so and the outcomes of this situation. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.