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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the total number of applicants the year before and the year after Doolittle University’s social media advertising campaign, organized by age range and how close the applicants live to the university.

The charts below show the total number of applicants the year before and the year after Doolittle University’s social media advertising campaign, organized by age range and how close the applicants live to the university.
#show #applicants #year #doolittle #university’s #media #campaign #age #range #university
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The graph below illustrates the number of
students
Use synonyms
 from European nations, Middles
east
Capitalize word
East
show examples
, Far
east
Capitalize word
East
show examples
 and Africa, who showed their interest
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 admission
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 UK UnIversIties
during
Change preposition
between
show examples
 1999 and 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
,
total
Change the article
a total
the total
show examples
 number of
applications
Use synonyms
 received by UK
universties
Correct your spelling
universities
 from all four regions significantly increased in four years.
Students
Use synonyms
 from European nations who submitted
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 number of
applications
Use synonyms
 around thirty
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 in 1999, lost their interest in
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 universities with
gradual
Add an article
a gradual
the gradual
show examples
 decrease in application numbers
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
5
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 3 years.
Linking Words
While
Correct word choice
Students
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 from
Far
Correct article usage
the Far
show examples
east
Capitalize word
East
show examples
,
although
Linking Words
 submitted
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
applications
Use synonyms
 in 1999(10,000) compared to European
students
Use synonyms
, gradually
Correct your spelling
submitted
sumbmitted
Correct your spelling
submitted
 more
applications
Use synonyms
 which reached
Correct your spelling
up to 30,000
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
show examples
 30.000 in 2003
Simiarly
Correct your spelling
Similarly
, middle
east
Correct word choice
Eastern
show examples
students
Use synonyms
follwed
Correct your spelling
followed
 the same pattern
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
far east
Correct your spelling
Far East
show examples
students
Use synonyms
, with
gradual
Add an article
a gradual
the gradual
show examples
 increase in
applications
Use synonyms
 from 10 thousand to twenty thousand in
given
Correct article usage
a given
show examples
 4 years. On the other hand ,
application
Correct article usage
the application
show examples
 rate from
african
Change the capitalization
African
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 remained constant throughout the period, which was around 5000 from 1999 to 2003.
Submitted by dr.tehreemk on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, applications with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 3 times.
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