Some people feel that the exploration of space justifies a large amount of government and private investment. Other people think that this field is of increasingly low relevance, and should not be a priority. Debate both sides of this discussion, and explain your own view. How important is it for us to explore space at the moment?

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In
this
modern society , more and more money is
spending towards
Verb problem
being spent on
show examples
the technology sectors especially
to
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on
show examples
space
explorations as it gives us
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
understanding of the universe and
help
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helps
show examples
to
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefit from those understandings .
This
trend
bring
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brings
show examples
up two different views, some people
claims
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claim
show examples
that
space
explorations
Fix the agreement mistake
exploration
show examples
are integral part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society it should be
priorities
Fix the agreement mistake
a priority
show examples
, others oppose it by saying, that there are some other sectors which are being overlooked but are important to take care
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of
show examples
such
as health system , environmental issues, youth and education . In
this
fast phase world ,
although
space
explore
Replace the word
exploration
show examples
is necessary for human development
however
it can not be
priorties
Correct your spelling
priorities
as
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to other necessary fields down here on the earth. On the one hand , no doubt with the help of
space
explore
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exploration
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
are
geting
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getting
severals
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several
show examples
benefits. To justify it, climate change awareness , weather
forecast
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forecasts
show examples
and
inditifying
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identifying
dangerous
asteriods
Correct your spelling
asteroids
with the help of
these knowledges
Fix the agreement mistake
this knowledge
show examples
we are getting it makes predicted and safe future .
For example
, having awareness of climate change helps to grow food for farmers
according to
that ,
weather
Correct article usage
the weather
show examples
forecast helps to public travel
safe
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safely
show examples
and get ready for the conditions.
This
mean
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means
show examples
space
explore
Replace the word
exploration
show examples
made human
life
much safer and easier than before.
On the other hand
, yes
space
explore
Replace the word
exploration
show examples
made
life
more
convienent
Correct your spelling
convenient
but is
this
enough to ignore the problems that are being faced by humans?
Although
it has several benefits
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
there are various sectors which can not be neglected, Priorties should be given to basic needs of living
such
as
poverity
Correct your spelling
poverty
, health care and taking care of youth who are spoiling their
life
with
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by
show examples
getting indulge
Wrong verb form
indulging
show examples
in drugs . There is
non
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
sense
of
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in
show examples
investing
on
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in
show examples
the
space
sector if ordinary people are suffering
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of basic facilities which is
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
show examples
of the government. In conclusion,
although
it is true that learning from
space
explore
Replace the word
exploration
show examples
increased
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
standard
Correct article usage
the standard
show examples
of businesses and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
human
life
easier
however
priortising
Correct your spelling
prioritising
prioritizing
these sector
Change the determiner
this sector
these sectors
show examples
is not justice for the public who are suffering from basic needs.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
should keep spending on
space
explore but
Replace the word
exploration
show examples
by putting
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
basic needs
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
first .
Submitted by amarbatth367 on

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language
Work on improving sentence clarity and structure to enhance readability and comprehension.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the logical progression of ideas by linking paragraphs and thoughts more smoothly.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the debate on space exploration, showing an understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The writer presents a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the essay well.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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