In some culture children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disavdantages of giving children this message?
Kids are often given a message which can reach anything if they try hard enough in some culture. There are merits and demerits to it which are explained in the following essay.
On the merit side, when children are told that can achieve their goals if they try hard enough,
then
kids try more and more and they do not give up easily. It is widely known, that if a thing has a worth, it is achieved with hard work. Simply put, Linking Words
this
is a good lesson for children which is taught. Linking Words
For example
, when I was a kid and I could not get a good score at school, I was told by my parent that I had achieved it if I tried enough hard. Linking Words
Thus
, I learned that I should try more and more to reach my aims.
On the demerit side, it is evident that all things and targets are not achievable. It is widely known, that there are probabilities in the world and Linking Words
also
the other things are important. Linking Words
Moreover
, these others are not solved by working hard. Linking Words
Therefore
, blaming people because they do not achieve their goals since they do not try enough hard, is so unfair. Linking Words
For instance
, poor people have tried more than you think, to were not poor. Linking Words
However
, the world does not work by trying a lot and other issues are important Linking Words
such
as your family wealth which poor people usually do not have. Linking Words
Thus
, blaming the poor is not unfair since they are blamed for things that they cannot control.
In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages to telling children to try enough hard to achieve their goals, in some cultures.Linking Words
Submitted by mkhdermani on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance logical flow, consider using transition words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs effectively.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are thoroughly supported with relevant examples to strengthen arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of the given topic, showing a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...