The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Nowadays,
science
has played a crucial role for Use synonyms
humans
in many ways, Use synonyms
thus
Linking Words
science
advancement is beneficial for Use synonyms
people
’s Use synonyms
lives
. Use synonyms
Although
the aim of Linking Words
science
is not only for Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
for living creatures including animals and plants, the usage of Linking Words
science
is inevitable for our Use synonyms
lives
.
Some Use synonyms
people
claim that scientific Use synonyms
research
should consider holistic living Use synonyms
lives
. Use synonyms
For example
, medical advancement is beneficial for Linking Words
people
to cure disease, Use synonyms
however
, a mouse Linking Words
for instance
is used for drug tests when a new medicine is introduced. If Linking Words
people
conduct Use synonyms
research
only for Use synonyms
humans
, the ignorance of other living Use synonyms
lives
would happen and it would bring damage to nature's balance. Use synonyms
Thus
, scientific Linking Words
research
needs to integrate other creature’s Use synonyms
lives
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, Linking Words
science
has been contributing to improving human Use synonyms
lives
. Life expectancy rate has been improved drastically Use synonyms
recent
years, Change preposition
in recent
this
is because scientific Linking Words
research
on medicine, remedies and operations has improved and Use synonyms
thus
Linking Words
humans
can live longer than before. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, many scientists think that moving to the Moon could be a solution for maintaining Linking Words
people
’s Use synonyms
lives
because of the increase in population, the capability of living on the earth would be limited Use synonyms
therefore
alternative way of living is required. Linking Words
Research
including gaining water and fire, cropping rice and vegetables is progressing for near the future.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that Use synonyms
science
is one of the most important study areas for Use synonyms
humans
. Use synonyms
Although
applying scientific Linking Words
research
should not take into account Use synonyms
people
’s ego, as a whole it could bring benefits Use synonyms
such
as medical advancement and the possibility of living in outer space for Linking Words
people
.Use synonyms
Submitted by hojoeri on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. While you have addressed multiple perspectives, making the main argument stand out more prominently can enhance clarity.
task achievement
Some sentences could be more concise and focused to strengthen the argument. Try to simplify complex structures for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively opening and closing the argument.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the use of medical advancements and space exploration, that add meaning to your points.
task achievement
The points around life expectancy and space exploration demonstrate clear, comprehensive ideas that are logically developed.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?