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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit
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In my opinion,today when there is so little socialization between us volunteering is one of the best ways to make people more sociable
and
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on the other
hand
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hand,
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 it would be better to be paid even less amount of cash as encouragement for their hard job. In nursery homes where there are so many elders who need care and love volunteering seems the best option.
For instance
 ,they can spend a lot of free time together and share their experiences.
Moreover
,
while
 taking part in social activities teenagers can get a lot of life knowledge and it can help them in their future careers.
However
, the person who does volunteering spends his or her free time without payment. I think it is not fair. Because many of the volunteers are the youth and they need financial support most of all.So, if they were paid a little amount of wage it would be enthusiastic for them. 29 in our capital city.A lot of volunteers took part in
this
 event and all of them were not paid any payment. Some of the participants complained about it. In conclusion, I would like to say that, volunteering seems the best option for youngsters to build their future careers, but
on the other hand
 they should be paid enough salary to be motivated.
Submitted by gunelbagarova14 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider clearly organizing your essay into distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. This can help in improving the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from more specific examples and details to support your points, which can enhance the task response aspect.
task achievement
Try to focus on a balanced discussion about the topic by including both benefits and potential drawbacks of unpaid community work for teenagers.
task achievement
You have expressed a clear personal opinion throughout the essay, which aligns with the task's requirements.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, reflecting on the overall message of the essay.
task achievement
You've addressed an important societal issue, showing awareness of its implications for both teenagers and the community.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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