These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children’s behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
day
many
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and many
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parints
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parents
complian
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complain
about
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their children
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children
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children's
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
and they need to fix
this
problem. people
use
old
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the old
show examples
way
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ways
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to
punch
kids to
banned
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ban
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them
to watch
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from watching
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TV
, some
family
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families
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use
a
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apply
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modren
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modern
way
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ways
show examples
to
advice
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advise
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them. We will decide how
they
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the
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parints
Correct your spelling
parents
avoid
children
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children's
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
. On
one
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the one
show examples
hand, people
who
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apply
show examples
use
old
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the old
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
to
punch
kids and
banned
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ban
show examples
them
to watch
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from watching
show examples
TV
.
For example
, they make time to watch in 3 hours if they watch more
that
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than that
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time they will
punch
them. On
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the other
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other hand
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another hand
other hands
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,
family
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the family
a family
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who
use
a
modren
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modern
way
to
advice
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advise
show examples
them.
For
example
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example,
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when they find
thire
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their
there
children
watch
tv
more
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for more
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than 3 hours they will talk to them and say
watch
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that watching
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tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
more will make
you
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them
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bad
Add an article
a bad
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person. In conclusion, we
well
Correct your spelling
will
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say
use
old
Add an article
the old
show examples
way
to
punch
kids and
banned
Wrong verb form
ban
show examples
them
to watch
Change preposition
from watching
show examples
TV
and
use
a
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
way
to
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
them that will make
children
have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Submitted by bader19951 on

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Task Response
Try to articulate your stance on whether you agree or disagree with the statement about violence on television and its impact on children's behavior more clearly. This will make your essay focused and coherent.
Task Response
Ensure that your arguments are well-developed with specific examples or experiences. This will strengthen your task achievement by providing relevant support to your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your ideas logically across sentences and paragraphs. Use transition words effectively to guide the reader through your essay smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay contains an introduction and conclusion, showing the ability to structure an essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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