IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children’s behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

In
this
Linking Words
 day
many
Correct word choice
and many
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parints
Correct your spelling
parents
complian
Correct your spelling
complain
 about
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
their children
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children
Change noun form
children's
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and they need to fix
this
Linking Words
 problem. people
use
Use synonyms
old
Add an article
the old
show examples
Use synonyms
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 to
punch
Use synonyms
 kids to
banned
Wrong verb form
ban
show examples
 them
to watch
Change preposition
from watching
show examples
TV
Use synonyms
, some
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
use
Use synonyms
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
Use synonyms
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
 them. We will decide how
they
Correct your spelling
the
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parints
Correct your spelling
parents
 avoid
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
use
Use synonyms
old
Add an article
the old
show examples
Use synonyms
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to
punch
Use synonyms
 kids and
banned
Wrong verb form
ban
show examples
 them
to watch
Change preposition
from watching
show examples
TV
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, they make time to watch in 3 hours if they watch more
that
Change preposition
than that
show examples
 time they will
punch
Use synonyms
 them. On
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
,
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
 who
use
Use synonyms
 a
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
way
Use synonyms
 to
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
 them.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 when they find
thire
Correct your spelling
their
there
children
Use synonyms
 watch
tv
Use synonyms
more
Change preposition
for more
show examples
 than 3 hours they will talk to them and say
watch
Wrong verb form
that watching
show examples
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
 more will make
you
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 person. In conclusion, we
well
Correct your spelling
will
show examples
 say
use
Use synonyms
old
Add an article
the old
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 to
punch
Use synonyms
 kids and
banned
Wrong verb form
ban
show examples
 them
to watch
Change preposition
from watching
show examples
TV
Use synonyms
 and
use
Use synonyms
 a
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
way
Use synonyms
 to
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
 them that will make
children
Use synonyms
 have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.

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Task Response
Try to articulate your stance on whether you agree or disagree with the statement about violence on television and its impact on children's behavior more clearly. This will make your essay focused and coherent.
Task Response
Ensure that your arguments are well-developed with specific examples or experiences. This will strengthen your task achievement by providing relevant support to your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your ideas logically across sentences and paragraphs. Use transition words effectively to guide the reader through your essay smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay contains an introduction and conclusion, showing the ability to structure an essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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