Sport is one of the most draws on television today. Some people argue that the practice of showing sport on television is to blame for the poor health of the young generation by encouraging them to watch rather than partake in physical activity. To what extent do you agree wit this view?
There is no denying the fact that physical
activities
are essential to build a Use synonyms
Use synonyms
health
body for Replace the word
healthy
youngsters
. Use synonyms
While
it is a Linking Words
commenly
held belief that the practice of displaying Correct your spelling
commonly
sports
on Use synonyms
television
is to blame for the poor Use synonyms
health
of Use synonyms
young
generation by encouraging them to watch rather than participate in these Correct article usage
the young
activities
, there is Use synonyms
also
an argument that opposes it.
In my opinion, I'm Linking Words
convinsed
that Correct your spelling
convinced
sports
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
are
must Unnecessary verb
apply
implement
by young Wrong verb form
be implemented
people
to enhance their Use synonyms
health
and showing Use synonyms
sports
on Use synonyms
television
may influence them to practise Use synonyms
in
that Change preposition
apply
sport
.
To elaborate, young Use synonyms
people
are growing faster and to ensure that their Use synonyms
growing
is healthy, they must Replace the word
growth
includes
some physical Change the verb form
include
activities
in their daily Use synonyms
scheduel
. Correct your spelling
schedule
In other words
, studies have proven that physical activity is crucial to increase the Linking Words
health
of their bones and muscles. Use synonyms
In addition
, their character will Linking Words
developed
with their muscles. Change the verb form
be developed
develop
For example
, building their bodies will let them feel more comfortable and Linking Words
confidence
.
Replace the word
confident
On the other hand
, Linking Words
television
is an essential tool so showing Use synonyms
Use synonyms
sport
will influence Fix the agreement mistake
sports
youngsters
to participate in Use synonyms
that
Correct determiner usage
those
Use synonyms
sport
. It is Fix the agreement mistake
sports
also
possible to say that, the rate of training Linking Words
youngsters
Use synonyms
are
increasing Correct subject-verb agreement
is
due to
the Linking Words
television
impact. Use synonyms
Moreover
, the majority of young Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
dreaming
Wrong verb form
dream
to be
professional in Change preposition
of being
Use synonyms
sport
to be popular. Fix the agreement mistake
sports
For instance
, Linking Words
youngsters
are copying football stars moves when they play football.
In conclusion, I tend to believe that Use synonyms
television
is an essential tool to Use synonyms
incourage
young Correct your spelling
encourage
people
to partake in physical activity and showing Use synonyms
sports
will influence and aware them.Use synonyms
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spelling grammar
Improve spelling and grammatical accuracy. Certain words, like 'common', 'convinced', 'schedule', and 'encourage' are misspelled. Focusing on these errors will improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Though you have a clear thesis, ensure each paragraph connects directly to the thesis and transitions smoothly between points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, especially in relation to how television influences youth physical activity.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively presenting the topic and summarizing your point of view.
support
The main ideas are present and are supported with explanations and examples, such as the influence of TV on the popularity of sports.
approach
The essay takes a balanced approach by considering both sides of the argument and effectively defending your position.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example