IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the environment. others maintain that the major profit is the development of world business. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #benefit #cooperation #environment #profit #development #world #business #viewpoints
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Numbers of humans consider that the major advantage of international
unit
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units
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 is in society. Others keep the balance that the main income is the development of
globe
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global
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 business. I think being merged job owners is the best sign of high income and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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progress in the
filed
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field
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 of business. The reason for
this
 they have
willingness
Correct article usage
a willingness
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 to be more developed among countries and decide to unify and gather their money up into the same place and invest
for
Change preposition
in
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 more financial structures the result of them working out the
numbers
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number
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 of skyscrapers are operating for businessmen's projects.
For instance
,the researchers announced that the United rich individuals are making plans for social services.By using
such
 types of services ,inhabitants are happy to modern destinations. On the one hand, international cooperation
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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in local places is being trend in social media too.The government is
requiring
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required
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 to be in the same sector and focus on the modernization of their habitat and their business as well.When they make their country well-known over the globe . Businessmen receive offers from various parts of the world.
For example
, THE USA is offering to import organic objects from developing countries.
On the other hand
, making an effort to reach their goals is
effective
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an effective
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 way .
However
, sole effort cannot achieve high results on its own. They need partners to overcome their weaknesses and challenges by motivating each other. To take an instance for
this
 most parts of the world do not have
such
concept
Correct article usage
a concept
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, so they do not progress. By way of sum up, being developed on its own is more challenging than being together in
group
Add an article
a group
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. For
this
Add a comma
this,
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 the government should be responsible for their active citizens to make their living part across the world. When people support one another in the same family by collecting money , needs for everything is the best way in local territories.
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introduction conclusion present
Try to develop a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to make your stance more explicit from the beginning.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically to the next one. This will help in maintaining coherence.
supported main points
Use specific examples or evidence to support your claims in order to strengthen your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas and ensure completeness by elaborating on both perspectives more thoroughly.
complete response
Your essay presents both viewpoints, which is essential for a balanced discussion essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion summarizes your perspective, reinforcing your opinion effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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