Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In
this
day and age, many countries believe that economic progression is the most crucial goal, while
others argue that other aspects of society should also
be prioritized for development. In the following essay, I am going to discuss both sides of this
argument and state my opinion on the matter.
On the one hand, the advancement of the economy could lead to an increase in the living standards of society. Simply put, the progression of the market could create more employment opportunities, thus
lowering the unemployment rate, as well as
the crime rate. Hence
, people could earn money to pay for their basic necessities and have access to healthcare and social welfare. For example
, in the 1980s Vietnamese people were struggling with difficult lives, but with the economic reform program known as “Doi Moi” in 1986, the market flourished and created several new jobs for Vietnamese people, leading to the increase in minimum wage and nowadays most citizens in Vietnam can live comfortably with their salaries.
On the other hand
, other aspects of society should also
be designated for development, such
as education and technology. Given a scenario in which a country focuses solely on the economy, in the short term this
would bring about a surge in living standards as citizens can earn more money. However
, in the long run, this
market will not be sustainable because of the lack of a high-quality workforce who can operate machines and utilize technology in their daily tasks. This
is because, with the advancements in technology, most tasks are computer-based to maximize efficiency while
also
minimizing the risk of critical errors. Thus
, if individuals are not equipped with the knowledge and skills they will be able to work in an automated environment.
In conclusion, while
many nations claim that the most crucial goal is economic progress, others suggest that other types of development are equally vital. From my point of view, I agree that while
the economy is important, a country should not focus solely on it, and should consider other progression to create a strong, influential country.Submitted by duongntt.tld on
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language use
Try to enhance your examples and reasoning with more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to achieve higher precision in conveying your points.
coherence cohesion
To improve, ensure all points made are linked back clearly to the overall argument, enhancing the logical structure and persuasive impact of your essay.
task response
Make each paragraph slightly more distinct by linking back to the question topic or statement, to emphasize relevance and enhance task response.
task response
The essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion, ensuring coherence and cohesion across the essay.
task achievement
Clear and specific examples such as the 'Doi Moi' economic reform provide evidence of thoughtful engagement with the topic.